Artemis Fowl and the People of The Sea
by Birdie and Bee
Summary: Just to prove his little cousin wrong, Artemis Fowl the Second undergoes a forced change to to be come a...merperson. Full summary inside. Switched to this account. Bit Ooc DISCONTINUED
1. Of Annoyance And Revenge

Summary (Huzzah!): Just to prove his little cousin wrong, Artemis Fowl the Second undergoes a forced change to be come a...merperson.

At the same time, a young merprincess who doesn't want to be so causes havoc. She is about to cut her hair to disguise herself when our other young "hero" just happens to be swimming along as a…merperson.

A load of cool stuff happens, la da da, and then the merprincess, Stephanie, goes through a change herself (No, not puberty) and stays at Fowl Manor with dear Arty for a few weeks. Why a few weeks? Ask Artemis, Iunno. Anyhoo, will things…happen (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER NOW) between dear Arty and wee ickle Steph? Read and find out, fools.

**We will say this once, and only once, for it isn't very important. We don't own Arty. Or any other Artemis Fowl characters. Kay, now leave us lone.**

**We will be transferring all reviews when the story is moved to its proper home. frog-noo. Okay? Ok. Also, did you know that if you added the next letter in noo, it'd be nood? Well, I did. -Frogerita **

**M'kay. I'm the one who's going to be typing up all of your reviews. I volunteered. So thank me, you ignorant trolls. **

**Regards, Noodle**

* * *

"Hello, Ted. Do you know what this is?" A girl said, pointing to the brush in Ted's hand. 

"Your hairbrush ma'am."

"And Ted, what is wrong with this picture?"

"There is no hair in the brush."

"Really now? What do you think you were doing?"

"I was only trying to get out the hair…"

"Ted. I really don't care. "

"But…"

"PUT DOWN THE GODFORSAKEN HAIRBRUSH!"

"If you insist…"

"Give it!"

"Of course." Ted said, slowly handing it over, as if it was too hard for his meaty hands to achieve.

The royal brush cleaner guy, Ted, swam of in a huff, tripping over a coral piece. (How he managed to trip over a piece of coral smaller than his eye will always astound me…

Princess Stephanie collapsed on her clam, slowly sinking. (A/N: That is HER BED, for all the people that have not seen THE LITTLE MERMAID) She, of course, was a mermaid, for the dim witted.

Princess Stephanie was a fair skinned, fair haired, maiden. Wait, um… No. That's, someone else, sorry. Let me, restart.

(Rewind noise)

Princess Stephanie was a jolly bearded man. No, sorry. That's Santa Claus. Okay.

(Rewind noise)

Princess Stephanie had a light, peach complexion, with gray, blue and green-ish eyes, changing whenever her mood changed. Like a mood ring. Only better. And she doesn't wear them on her finger. That would be creepy. The blonde mermaid swam over to her coral balcony, annoyed with the fact she couldn't clean her hair brush, or do anything at all. If only her father, king Biten' would not make her marry a prince. The idiotic, red- headed, son of a bish, Prince Elton. She'd be so much happier, not really. She couldn't get any unhappier, but she'd be a bit happier. (A/N I put Bish, because I said so, so deal wit' it...)

So. It was at that time, before night, called dusk, that Stephanie decided to do several, un-princess like things in order to be, impeached I suppose.

* * *

Artemis Fowl's annoying cousin Shawn had come over for a visit to the manor. No matter were Artemis went or did, Shawn was there, and it was driving him up the wall.

Artemis was sitting at his window sill at this particular bug-and-annoy-to-no-end session.

"Mermaid's DO exist!" yelled Shawn.

Artemis sighed, fighting extremely hard to control his temper. "No, dear cousin, they don't."

"Yes they do-o-o-o! Yes they do, yes they do, and yes they DO!" Shawn voice was whiny and high pitched.

Artemis's eyelid twitched. "No. They don't."

Matching his older cousin's tone, Shawn argued, "Yes. They do."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO." Artemis was losing control very quickly.

"YES." Then, causing Artemis to lose it, Shawn chanted, "Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh!"

I bet you thought you'd never see the day, but Artemis broke out in a childish, mocking tone and contorted his facial features. He turned to his cousin and, "NUH-UH."

"UH-HUH."

"NUH-UH."

"Yes-HUUUUUH."

"Nuh-UUUUUH."

"YES-HUH!"

"WANNA BET!"

"Yeah, how much?" Shawn smiled greedily.

"It depends," Artemis collected his cool and poked his cousin in the nose, "on what happens. And how much you have." He stood up. "I will concoct something that will prove myself, mainly because if I explained it to you, your tiny, seven-year-old mind wouldn't be able to comprehend my logic and your tiny head would explode."

Shawn whimpered.

"As I was saying," Artemis continued. "I will concoct something to prove my point, and if I do so happen to prove it you will have to vow never to pester me again. If you do, the consequences will be…ah…dire."

"What does that mean?"

"You won't like it, that's what." Artemis hurriedly pushed Shawn out of his room. "Now shoo, I have work to get to."

* * *

Stephanie had just enjoyed cutting off the royal food stock, eating until she had diarrhea (lol) and farting. She also had been about to prepare herself, with cutting off her luscious locks of golden hair.

Just as she was about to…" Stephanie Rutheria Biten'! How dare you, fart and RANSACK the kitchens!"

"Actually, that was your room."

"Excuse me- never mind But Stephanie, is that any better?"

"Umm… Yeah. Pretty much."

"Do not use such a disgraceful word! Yeah. No, you will say YES!"

"Okay, Daddio."

"Stop, stop, _STOP_! Quit using offensive words!"

"Eh?"

"Ugh, you must say things properly, Stephanie. Like 'The swan slept.' Not, 'The swan sleepteded, Daddio.'"

"I don't do that."

"Yes you do."

"No. I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I do not."

Biten' lost his temper. "YUH-HUH!"

Stephanie gasped. "Father! You used an offensive word. Be ashamed."

"AUGH!" Biten' left the room in a rage, and left Stephanie grinning.

**

* * *

**

Hello. We are glad you read this. Have you ever noticed, read, and read are similar? We have. Who are we? You shalt not know. Ha. HAHAHAHA. We will go by Noodle, and Frogerita. Thank you, again. And now, have you noticed that Frogerita and margarita sound similar? We have. Please review. The periwinkle button winks to you. Ha. Bad pun. Okay and you shall get cookies if you review. And maybe oatmeal bath, if you're lucky. I had one of those once.

**-Frogerita **

**Hoookayyy. All that I was going to say has been said, and a lot of rambling has been said as well. If you read said rambling, please get your ass off of the computer chair and go outside. You have friends, don't you? Enemies? Family? Something! I bet they miss you dearly. Oh, and if you do take my advice, I suggest you warn anyone of the disfigured features you may have from computer screen radiation. Bloodshot eyes, see-through skin, the works.**

**Regards, Noodle**

**Quote of the chapter: **_He stood up. "I will concoct something that will prove myself, mainly because if I explained it to you, your tiny, seven-year-old mind wouldn't be able to comprehend my logic and your tiny head would explode." -Artemis Fowl II_


	2. Of Meetings And Joy

**(What happened last. Ooppy tam.) Okay. Hiyo. To the note junk, kay? Kay. Aren't you happy the story was transferred! Now on frog-noo**

Summary(Huzzah!): Just to prove his little cousin wrong, Artemis Fowl the Second undergoes a forced change to be come a...merperson.

At the same time, a young merprincess who doesn't want to be so causes havoc. She is about to cut her hair to disguise herself when our other young "hero" just happens to be swimming along as a…merperson.

A load of cool stuff happens, la da da, and then the merprincess, Stephanie, goes through a change herself (No, not puberty) and stays at Fowl Manor with dear Arty for a few weeks. Why a few weeks? Ask Artemis, Iunno. Anyhoo, will things…happen (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER NOW) between dear Arty and wee ickle Steph? Read and find out, fools.

* * *

"**Put down my damn hairbrush!"**

'"**I'm only trying to get out the hair…"**

"**I don't give a hoot. Now put down the hairbrush."**

"**But…"**

"**PUT DOWN THE GODFORSAKEN HAIRBRUSH!"**

"**If you insist…"**

"**Give it!"**

"**Of course."**

**The royal brush cleaner guy, Ted, swam of in a huff. **

**

* * *

Artemis Fowl's annoying cousin Shawn had come over for a visit to the manor. No matter were Artemis went or did, Shawn was there, and it was driving him up the wall. **

**Artemis was sitting at his window sill at this particular bug-and-annoy-to-no-end session.**

**

* * *

Stephanie had just finished pulverizing the clams, eating the 2 week food stock, tying up all employees, (Especially Ted.), and ransacking her father's room. Now all that was left was to cut off, The Forest of Everblonde. Her, dun dun dun, dun dun dun… HAIR. (EGASPETH) ****

* * *

(On with le story. Muah ha ha ya ya ya ya! Ha!) **

**(For the record, I didn't type that. Regards, Noodle)**

* * *

"THIS IS BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S." 

Juliet and Butler were giving Artemis a ride to the pier so he could prove his cousin, Shawn, wrong. While they were in the car that particular song was playing on the radio and Juliet and Butler were head-banging and shouting to the lyrics.

Artemis was sitting in the back, terrified.

'_Who on God's green earth would create such a song!_' Artemis thought, as he swirled the potion…like…stuff…around in the vile in which it was contained. It was pink.

Hot pink.

What he planned to do sounded absolutely ridiculous. He had created his potion out of certain types of fish and other things I cannot name because I'm a complete imbecile. He was going to drink it (and gag for a minute or two) and turn into a merman. Weird? You decide. Anyway. He would then travel down into the depths of the ocean, video tape the images below with a water-proof video camera, show Shawn the raw footage and win the bet. Artemis wins, everyone is happy.

Yes, Shawn would question his proof but Artemis could lie his way out of it. It's one of the many things he does best.

When they finally arrived Artemis had a migraine and the Butler siblings were laughing at the poor Irish boy (Noodle-Hey, you would too). Artemis and Butler got out of the car while Juliet waited inside and turned the music up so loud the citizens of Hong Kong could feel it.

"What if this doesn't work?" Butler questioned. "Have you tested it?"

"I'm testing it in a few seconds. If things go awry that's what that antidote in your hand is for. It will reverse any DNA changes that may be in place." Artemis stood at the edge of the pier with Butler at his back so no one could be a Peeping Tom. "You do have the antidote with you, do you not?"

Butler shook it in his hand.

"Excellent," Artemis said, taking off his long-sleeved Polo shirt and throwing it aside. He took the cork out of the vile tip (with great difficulty for he is a weakling) and gulped the hot pink potion down. It was absolutely disgusting, and he started gagging.

"EUGH," he coughed. "THAT TASTE IS INTOLERABLE!" Artemis fell into the water, but luckily he was already developing gills and he could breathe underwater as much as he pleased. Bubbles emitted from his mouth and floated to the surface, obscuring his vision.

His legs suddenly snapped together, then combined into a big fat merperson tail. It was black, for that was the color of his current pair of pants (which were now eternally ruined). He looked down at his fin. "…Alright then."

Artemis swam further down under water, the new sensation of having a fin bothering him just like Shawn pestered him above the water's surface.

* * *

Princess Stephanie had been grounded for the past few days. She stared out the seaweed, a glazed look upon her face. A big, obese merman passed, smiling. She smiled too. It was her lover. Jorge, with a j. Stephanie attempted to escape, but the seaweed held her prisoner. 

She decided to pass the time with a fond memory of her chaos caused to the castle. Tying up Ted, the royal hairbrush cleaner guy.

-Flashback-

"Ooooo! I'm brushing your hair. Ooo! I'm cleaning your brush! OOOOO! I'm going to clean my brush! HAHAHA!" And she did. Poor Ted was rambling for days on end. It was torture for him. He, tied up in the hair he had saved from brush cleaning day, watching her CLEAN HER OWN BRUSH! He fainted.

-This flashback has ended. It is now time to resume the tragic story.-

Stephanie sighed in content. It was one of her finest moments.

At that moment a small crab approached. It snapped it claws and spit air bubbles out of what was its mouth. It looked up at the merprincess.

"May I help you?" Stephanie raised an eyebrow.

The crab bubbled again and crawled onto Stephanie's back. It tickled, and she giggled insanely. The crab cut the bonds tying the girl to the sandy ocean bottom and ate the bonds for his mid-day snack. He thought it was very delicious.

Stephanie swam upward and out of the seaweed bed she was grounded to for what was supposed to be a year. She didn't thank the crab, and the crab decided to get her back when she returned.

Stephanie looked around for anyone who might be spying. No one. She rocketed towards the surface so no one could spot her escaping to the Pacific Ocean. She would have to surface, use what humans called lungs to breathe air and, once she was far enough, dive back under and hide in the small underwater utopia the fairies called Atlantis. She was sure they wouldn't mind her staying.

* * *

Artemis swam further and further down, video taping every single detail around him. Fish, seaweed, a crab which seemed to curse at the sky, nothing special. 

He smirked. He would win the bet and he would no longer be bothered by the little brat he had to call his cousin. If Artemis' name was Everybody, Everybody would win, but it's not, so they don't.

Artemis' smirk dissolved as he saw a creature swimming towards him. He turned off the camera and tried to get a closer look of whatever it was. It looked like a dolphin with the torso of a…

"Crumpets."

It was a merperson. He was wrong. He, Artemis Fowl the Second, was _wrong_. Apparently they do exist, just like the underground fairy population. They, flippin', EXISTED.

Artemis stayed put to see what the merperson would look like in full, for he didn't have a mirror and couldn't look at himself.

When the merperson got closer Artemis found that she was a girl (A-DUH). Her fin was a mix of the colors of her eyes, green, blue and grey all mixed in for some weird reason most likely having to do with the genes passed down from her parents ANYWAY. Her hair was blonde and shone from the rays of the sun that strained to reach the bottom of the ocean (he wasn't that far down). It flowed around her head like silk curtains in a breeze.

The mermaid gave him a look, and then she grabbed a heavy object, aimed it at Artemis and started screaming.

* * *

Stephanie felt a ripple of water from a distance. She swam slightly faster. 

Was it a spy for her repulsive father? Probably. She swam faster still, behind a rock.

Stephanie grabbed a heavy object, aimed it at him and started screaming.

She threw it with perfect aim, but it sunk to the floor like a drowning giraffe. "Crumpets!"

The merboy stared at her oddly, then said, "You stole my line."

"Who said it was your line? Did ya' copyright it? Huh?" She looked menacing.

Artemis could not help but think, 'She's hot.' Artemis felt very ashamed, and dirty after thinking that. He then said, "Yes. I did. Wanna see the papers? HUH!"

"No, I'm fine," Stephanie said. "The ink is probably like, fwoosh anyway."

"…What?"

"Huh?"

Artemis sighed; this was like Shawn, only worse, and sexy. Artemis blushed, and felt sick, and ashamed, and dirty. _Again. _

"Egad."

"Yeah. Who are you?"

"Artemis Fowl the Second, heir to a huge fortune."

Stephanie in her mocking, nasally voice replied,"I'm Stephanie. I'm a princess, deal with it. I have a large fortune too. Ne-e-e-eh. So, bow down, fool."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Okay! So, ahhh…"

"Not this again! How, ahhh… insightful, of you."

"Indeed." Artemis thought for a minute or two, leaving the mermaid to stare at him and wait for him to speak about something other than the word 'ah'. Finally, "I need to take you back up to the surface with me."

"Back? Eh?"

"I'm not a real merperson, I came from the surface. I need to take you back so I can prove to my cousin that mermaids don't exist."

"But they do."

"He doesn't know that."

"But I'm a mermaid. If he sees me after you brought me up, that would prove you wrong."

"Oh, I can fix that."

"Right. How, when, where, why?"

"Okay. What?"

"It's from kindercare."

"Okay, shush and listen."

"Ne-e-e-e."

"Okay. Now, We will be going to the surface in the next 20 minutes. There will be an antidote to switch the mermaid DNA to human DNA."

"I'll be a human!"

"No, you won't." Artemis tried to put in as much sarcasm as he could muster.

"Oh joy!" Stephanie, obviously sensing the sarcasm in his voice, shouted.

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog  
Was a good friend of mine  
I never understood a single word he said  
But I helped him a-drink his wine  
And he always had some mighty fine wine  
Singin'...

Joy to the world  
All the boys and girls now  
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea  
Joy to you and me

If I were the king of the world  
Tell you what I'd do  
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war  
Make sweet love to you  
Sing it now...

Joy to the world  
All the boys and girls  
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea  
Joy to you and me" Stephanie screamed.

Stephanie threw her arms around Artemis. "I LOVE YOU! WOOO!"

Artemis flushed. "I love you too, may we go now?"

**

* * *

**

OMG. I love that chapter. So full of good stuff and because we finished it I feel high. WHOO!

**Regards, Noodle**

**This was 9 pages on Microsoft, YAYAY! Longest chap yet. Please, if you would be so kind, review. Silver Dark Crystal Sorceress, and athleticsrulz, we love you. Sing with us! Joy to, never mind. Okay, you two have received an oatmeal bath each, and whatever else I propmised you. Kay, Bye.**

**-Frogerita**


	3. Hold up, I need to tell you something

**Athleticsrulz-Ah! Lol!  
I laughed out loud when I read the summary of the story . It was just so ... unexpected. And when you put it with all the stories that have summaries like: "okay, holly luvs arty but root is in the triangle ... please read ... first fic W00T!" I just had to read it.  
But that had nothing to do with anything so just ignore it.  
Yeah, great story! I can't wait til you update it!**

**Wolf Goddess of the night a…-wolfie- awesome story! it's pretty funny! update **

**soon!**

Alrighty. I got those copied down so we can get rid of the other copy on the other account. We can all cheer for me because I'm so cool. I didn't have to do this, you know. I could've just skipped it. No. I'm too nice.

Regards, Noodle


	4. Of Walking And Tushes

**

* * *

THE LAST TIIIIME: **

"_**THIS IS BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S." **_

_**Juliet and Butler were giving Artemis a ride to the pier so he could prove his cousin, Shawn, wrong. While they were in the car that particular song was playing on the radio and Juliet and Butler were head-banging and shouting to the lyrics.**_

_**Artemis was sitting in the back, terrified.**_

'**_Who on God's green earth would create such a song!' Artemis thought, as he swirled the potion…like…stuff…around in the vile in which it was contained. It was pink._**

_**Hot pink.**_

_**

* * *

Princess Stephanie had been grounded for the past few days. She stared out the seaweed, a glazed look upon her face. A big, obese merman passed, smiling. She smiled too. It was her lover. Jorge, with a j. Stephanie attempted to escape, but the seaweed held her prisoner. **_

_**She decided top pass the time, with a fond memory of her chaos caused to the castle. Tying up Ted, the royal hairbrush cleaner guy.**_

_**

* * *

Artemis swam further and further down, video taping every single detail around him. Fish, seaweed, a crab which seemed to curse at the sky, nothing special. **_

_**He smirked. He would win the bet and he would no longer be bothered by the little brat he had to call his cousin. If Artemis' name was Everybody, Everybody would win, but it's not, so they don't.**_

_**Artemis' smirk dissolved as he saw a creature swimming towards him. He turned off the camera and tried to get a closer look of whatever it was. It looked like a dolphin with the torso of a…**_

"_**Crumpets."**_

_**Stephanie felt a ripple of water from a distance. She swam slightly faster. **_

_**Was it a spy for her repulsive father? Probably. She swam faster still, behind a rock.**_

_**Stephanie grabbed a heavy object, aimed it at him and started screaming.**_

_**She threw it, with perfect aim. But it sunk, to the floor, like a drowning giraffe. "Crumpets!"**_

_**The merboy stared at her, oddly, then said, "You stole my line."**_

"_**Who said it was your line? Did ya' copyright it? Huh?" She looked menacing.**_

_**Artemis could not help but think, 'She's hot.' Artemis felt very ashamed, and dirty after thinking that. He then said, "Yes. I did. Wanna see the papers? HUH!"**_

_**Stephanie threw her arms around Artemis. "I LOVE YOU! WOOO!"**_

_**Artemis flushed. "I love you too, may we go now?"**_

**Now, to the chapter, Hoohah!**

* * *

Artemis was buttoning up his shirt while Stephanie took the antidote. 

"So, it worked?" asked Butler.

"Obviously," Artemis replied. "Now all we have to do is tell Shawn that I found a marine biologist who took me in a submarine to see the bottom of the ocean."

"What if he notices Stephanie's wet hair?"

"I'll say the submarine leaked."

"Ah. I see."

Stephanie interrupted. "Err, I have a problem."

"Oh?" Artemis shook his hair out with his hands. "What might that be?"

Stephanie snuck deeper into the water. "I'm, ah….kind of…nude."

"Oh. _Oh. _Ah, well, err…" Artemis turned to Butler and whispered, "Do we have any spare clothes?"

"I'll go ask Juliet if she has any." Butler went to ask his sister about the…ah…predicament.

"So-o-o-o…" Artemis started, looking up to the sky. "What is being a merperson like, exactly?"

"Ah, it sucks. Terribly. Seeing water and sand all day is boring and we can't dance. _We can't dance! _And candy dissolves unless we keep it in our mouth the entire time, and we swim in our own--"

"Clothes!" Butler exclaimed.

"Good!" She pointed at Butler, then Artemis. "You, turn around and stay put. You, go away."

Stephanie quickly got out of the water and dressed herself after they did as they were told. (A/N: She read laminated magazines that have been dropped into the water. She has learned how to dress like a human from those. Look ma, no help from you, you witch!) She had to sit the entire time because if she tried to stand up she would lose her balance and fall. Oh, the disadvantages of have a fin for fourteen years.

"I'm finished, you can peek now," Stephanie announced when she was done. She was wearing a long black t-shirt, bell bottoms and orange sandals. She tried to stand up, only to fall backwards. Luckily she grabbed the back of Butler's shirt and was saved.

Butler turned his head. "Err, are you okay?"

"If I were a piece of jelly, I'd be just dandy!" Stephanie gave a cheesy smile.

"Umm… May I come in now? And Butler, Juliet needs you. Something about 50 million euros…" Butler quickly ran off, leaving poor Stephanie on her rump.

Artemis came over and attempted to help her. Too bad he's a weakling. He fell on his rump as well.

"Come o-o-o-o-on!" Butler demanded from the car. "Juliet has this perverted song on and she won't let me change it!"

"We'll be right there!" Artemis shouted back. "Now Stephanie, ahhh…gain your balance."

"How 'bout no, and you get the hot, buff guy, in the car to help me. You know, the one with the great a-"

"What!"

"_Kidding…" _

"Right. BUTLERRRRRRRRR!"

"Coming, Artemis." He picked Stephanie over his shoulder, and placed her gently in the car. He tossed Artemis over his shoulder, and threw him into the car.

Big tush Butler began driving.

Stephanie used her arms to throw Artemis' caviar out the window.

"Those were my future friends! And the fish Kim's eggs! How could you! I now hate you." She slapped Artemis and crossed her arms, then asked, "Can I sit next to you, Butler?"

"Err, no."

"It sounds as if you hate me."

Artemis began to relax, lying on the whole seat. Stephanie felt the urge to be mean and playful at the same time. She promptly sat on his chest.

"Augh! What are you doing!" Artemis exclaimed in a raspy voice, for he couldn't breathe.

"None yo, that's what." Stephanie started tickling Artemis' sides.

"No. No! Stop! Stop it! Aha! Ahahahaha!" Artemis giggled uncontrollably.

"I have found your tickle spot! I have an advantage!"

"Not for long!" Artemis found his strength (there wasn't much) and poked around Stephanie's stomach. She squealed. "Oh, see? Now I have you! Take that!"

"No-o-o-o! Holy crab ca-AHAHAHAHA!" Stephanie couldn't fight back. Her tickle spot was her weakness, and that was why she never revealed it to anyone. But Artemis had found it and now she was vulnerable.

For once Artemis had fun being childish. Why this was so, he had no idea, but torturing some one and making them giggle at the same time was enjoyable. He kept up his antics until Stephanie couldn't breathe.

"Oh, you're so mean!" Stephanie giggled.

Artemis gave his vampire smile. "I know, aren't I lovely?"

"No."

"You've ruined the mood."

"There was a mood?"

"Yes. And you ruined it. Feel bad."

"I am ashamed."

"No. Stop speaking, it's all over."

"Wahh."

"And you wonder-"

"Why I'm so beautiful? No, not really."

"Excuse me, _Mr. Fowl,_ but we have arrived." Butler intervened.

"Okay!" Stephanie opened the door with some difficulty (Noodle-Apparently, according to my friend, mermaids don't have doors.), and put one foot outside. She stood on the other foot, and lost her balance entirely, on the grass, filled with ants. (Frogerita- they have NO car doors. They are mermaids.) "Aaeeeii!" she squealed. She rolled over twice. Butler picked her up, and attempted to brush off the ants, the retarded ants. The ones no one wanted. The ones that appeared without any notice to the authors. After the last of the ants were killed, they walked up the driveway, poor Artemis lagging ahead because he is still a weakling. So therefore, the process was slow. Really slow. "Shawn!

Shawnifoundamermaidandshesnotamermaidrightno wcausewetookapotionthatmadethednagoodnotbadandnowwearegoingtolieandsaythatwedidntfindamermaidandthatshesamarinebiologistandthesubmarineleakedsowebroughthertoshowyouproofthatmermaidsdontexistthoughtheydo!"

"Huh?" Shawn said, befuddled.

"I said Shawnifoundamermaidandshesnotamermaidrightno -"

"I know, but slower."

"Umm… Okay. I said, 'Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn-"

"He said your name a million plus 2 times, and then said what he meant." Stephanie lied, feeling high and mighty.

"Exactly!"

Shawn agreed heartily. Then he ignored Artemis and began making moves on Stephanie, for he was a pervert. Such as the lame sayings listed:

You're hot.

You're pretty.

You should love me.

Let's have babies!

Let's get married.

Your lips look lonely, wanna meet mine?

You have big bo-"

"I am a marine biologist. I study clams, farschool, fish, laminated magazines, catglaws, mermaids, which don't exist…" And Stephanie's list went on and on, and on, while smiling cheesily. At the same time she looked at Artemis as if silently crying for help. Artemis just whistled, like he had seen on old cartoons that he no longer watched, 'cause they were childishly boring.

Stephanie continued on with her fake lecture, swearing to herself that she'd choke Artemis in his sleep. "I am here to tell you of the wonderful world of mermaids: It does-"

"-not exist!" Artemis butted in. "You see, I have been in Stephanie's father's submarine to explore the deep and we found absolutely no evidence that could lead us to the conclusion that mermaids might exist, which they don't."

"Thank you, Artemis, for so rudely interrupting me. As I was saying, they do not exist, and if they did, pigs would fly and I'd probably be a millionaire."

Shawn, being blinded by a false pang of love, believed the fake marine biologist. "Aw. M'kay then." He skipped back into the house to see if he could annoy the heck out of some one else, for he had lost the bet to Artemis.

Artemis turned to Stephanie. "You have successfully served your purpose as a human, and now it's time to throw you back into the ocean like a tuna fish."

"What!" Stephanie looked at the boy as if he were batty. "I can't go back!"

"Oh? And why is that?"

"My life was miserable as a mermaid princess thingy. I hade no privileges of my own, I always had to be"-she made air quotes at this-"'proper' and I had no friends because my father was overprotective of me, and my father hired a friend for me, but she was a miserable lump!" Stephanie looked like she was at the brink of tears. "Please don't send me back…."

**

* * *

**

Will she stay at the manor? Read the dang gum summary and find out. Anyway, we decided to leave this chapter here because it was getting too long and we were getting tired of it. It's just like a brother, except much less annoying.

_**Regards, Noodle and Frogerita**_


	5. Of 'White' Rage

**I'm not going to bother with any "What happened last time" because, hey, you've probably just been there! Also, it has probably gotten really annoying by now so there's another reason not to do it.**

**Cheers! Noodle**

* * *

Artemis didn't know what to do. Mother and Father would most likely reject the idea, and Shawn would probably be an absolute pervert. No one wanted that. 

Then again, the poor girl _did_ sound miserable. She was almost crying, for God's sake. And as an added bonus, she could keep Artemis company while the little brat stayed. It was as if she was sent to Earth for that soul purpose. It was perfect!

Artemis sighed. "Fine, you may stay until my cousin leaves. Feel lucky, for he doesn't leave until next month and that's three weeks off, I assume?"

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Stephanie wrapped her arms around Artemis' waist and tears of joy sprung from her eyes.

"You-you're welcome." Artemis blushed and seperated himself from the joyous girl. "Quickly now, before my parents see you. I'll tell them of you myself, as that would probably cause less pandemonium."

"Are you going to lie?"

"Of course."

Stephanie nodded. "Alright. Where do you want me to hide?"

"Err, the garden. Just go through the side yard and laze around there for a while."

Stephanie nodded and left for the garden. Her step was rather unsteady, but she was getting the hang of walking.

Artemis walked through the foyer, up the stairs, down the hall to the left, up another flight of stairs, through the study, library, another hallway and a dungeon he was constructing for future use to find his mother in the sun room. The sun room was full of hanging, potted vines, small book cases and the scent of tangerines. A tall window towered, bringing rays of fresh sunshine bursting through. The floor was acidstained concrete, the color of a forest in summer; a dark green that made one want to shout out in pure joy for nature surrounding.

Artemis' mother sat in a forest green bean bag chair, reading a book on fictional mystery. She noticed her son and looked from her book. "Arty! You're home. How was your, err, experiment?"

"It was…interesting, I must say." Artemis sat down by his mother. "I have a question for you."

"If it's about puberty, ask your father."

"No! No, it's not, don't worry. Actually, I have found a volunteer for some studies I am going to work on in the next three weeks. I was wondering if she could stay here for that time."

"Oh, of course she can," she said. "Just don't try anything with her or-"

"Mother!"

Angeline laughed. "I'm joking with you, dear!" She hugged her son as he playfully made a sarcastic remark.

* * *

Stephanie lay amid the vibrantly colored flowers as she let her mind drift on what it would be like to be human. Sunshine cast heavenly rays upon her that streamed through the high leaves of the trees. A sweet scent drifted amongst the garden in a light, cooling breeze. 

_This would be a start_, Stephanie thought. _The sensation of a breeze, the scents and plant life to linger through, rays of sun beaming, making everything beautiful. Not like underwater. The sun only went so far…_

Her eyes closed a little. _Now I'll be able to walk, and dance, and so many other things…books don't have to be specially laminated…just take them off the shelf and start reading. My hair won't always be a tangle, either. That's a major plus…I can actually use my lungs…breathe… fresh air…_

She drifted to sleep, the nature around her helping her do so. She had dreams of walking, skipping, everywhere she could. Being free of an underwater prison, free of "royal duties" that she didn't even want to take on in the first place. She would sing without worrying about her gills to screw up her voice. Oh, the joy of being able to sing without worries! So many wonderful mermaid voices were ruined by such gills, and Stephanie's was one of them.

'_Stephanie…'_

Somewhere distant Stephanie heard her name being called. She turned her head and Artemis stood there. Artemis, the child prodigy who let her have her freedoms, her joy, her life.

'_Stephanie…'_

The boy who was generous enough to let her keep her human state and stay at his manor when he didn't have to at all.

'_Stephanie…' _The call was getting louder, sounding almost real.

The human who was kind enough to actually turn her into another human in the first place…

She woke up to some one gently shaking her shoulder. It was Artemis.

"Stephanie, you can come in now," he informed her. "My mother said it's perfectly alright for you to stay."

Stephanie stretched. "Really?"

"Of course. I'm not sure about my father, however, but my mother is telling him about it, and I'm sure he won't mind. Come on, up you go…" Artemis pulled Stephanie to her feet, who felt groggy and unbalanced. He held his guest steady and helped her into the manor.

* * *

This time Artemis' destination was up two flights of stairs, down three hallways, through the kitchen, another study, and three miniature art galleries (all artwork from him, of course), another flight of stairs and mid-point of a very long hallway. 

Stephanie was panting when they reached the guest bedroom. "Why…must you run…so fast!"

"I'm mean, that's why."

"Oh, so you don't do this when I'm not around?" Stephanie smirked.

Artemis smiled. "It's a possibility."

Artemis opened the bedroom door to reveal…nothing special. It had never been used in the past. The sheets on the bed were white, the dresser was white, the computer desk was _off**-**_white, and the computer monitor itself was white. The only things that didn't have a hue of white were the walls, which were a dark blue, like the ocean during a storm. (Noodle-This is where my rein of typing ends.)

Stephanie's first thought was, 'Blue and white. They go together like...like broth and noodles!'

"Stephanie, my cousin is doing a biography on the most wonderful person on Earth. Me, most of the time. But no. He. Chose. You. Congrats."

"That's creepy."

"Indeed. Now, you'll need a fake biography, which I have taken the pleasure of creating for you. I will be in my bedchamber. Three halls down to the left, past two libraries, seventh chamber to the left. Now, I leave you." He handed her the papers and walked away stiffly.

"Stop looking like a squid is up your arse," she said playfully.

Artemis barely gave a smile before continuing to walk stiffly. Again. Stephanie read over her biography silently.

Favorite food: Melon

Hobbies: Chewing gum, exercise, reading

Name: Aliyandra Wright

Age: 34

Race: Caucasian

Eating disorder: Obese

Born: April 13, 1991

Died: December 15, 1998

Cause of death: The birth of an annoying twit

Mother: Ihata

Father: Coushawn

Favorite animal: Cat

Love of my life: Not you

I have sixteen ugly sisters and 43 brothers. If you want to meet my rundown family of evility, go to 19885 W. Cherbrook Road, Manassas, Virginia 76557.

Quote of the week: I hate you.

"This is meeeaan." Stephanie charged down three halls down to the left, past two libraries, seventh chamber to the left. She knocked loud and hard. "ARTEMIS! LET ME I-I-I-I-N!" She hollered. The door opened quietly, and Stephanie burst through the door, slamming it shut hard behind her. "Artemis Whatever-your-middle-name-is Fowl! I am not 34, OR ANY OF THE OTHER CRAP YOU PUT IN THIS BIO!"

"Well, did I not tell you it was fake?"

"Yes but you never said that it was _that _fake! Do I look 34 to you?"

"Yes."

"You are such an ignorant, bastardly, son of a bi-"

"Shut up!"

"Did I huwt the poow baby's feewings? Ooo. I'm so sowwy," she said in a mocking tone.

Again, I bet you'd never think you'd see the day, but Artemis yelled. Exploded. Became Harry Potter in his 5th year. Evil.

"Just because I have a family that loves me and you don't doesn't mean you have to start fooling, and calling my mom a b-"

Stephanie lunged at him, (Thank God her walking had improved.) and fought tooth and nail. She was thrown off by the amazingly, for one second, strong-version of_Artemis._ Stephanie had tears of fury in her eyes. She stood up and ran off somewhere…

Artemis had perhaps started puberty. He rarely ever lashed out in an ignorant rage. And he was developing _feelings. _Artemis never developed... _feelings. _Perhaps Stephanie coming had helped this out, or the possibility of even worse-_hormones._ Artemis had each thought running through his head. But the largest one was, 'I've messed up.'

**

* * *

**

_Quote of the chapter: _Perhaps Stephanie coming had helped this out, or the possibility of even worse-_hormones. -Artemis Fowl II_

* * *

And he had indeed messed up, for perhaps _someone, a male someone _(no, not Shawn or Artemis, OR Butler) may just be sitting, waiting to meet her in the- You shall never know. Na, maybe in the next chapter. And so, my fellow authors and illustrators, and readers, remember this, never anger a Stephanie. Thank you. Have a nice day. Ladadada…

**-Frogerita **

**AUGH. Frogerita won't tell me who it iiiiis. MEANIE. If it's anything disgusting you won't see Frogerita for, oh, quite a while.**

**Oh, and by the way, I've noticed that most people that get reviews ask for them. Why can't you just be nice and review anyway? I mean, come on! Common courtesy, people. **

**Regards, Noodle**


	6. Of 'Day Dreams' and Friendship

**Yeeeah. we started typing the next chapter because I have nothing better to do. Not that we don't love you all! cough-wedon't-cough**

**Oh, and if you find any errors in my/our typing I would greatly appreciate it if you notified me/us through e-mail. I don't like skimming through it over and over and over just trying to look for errors I can't spot because I'm a worthless pig.**

**Regards, Noodle**

**-Frogerita**

**Oh, and we are renewing the disclaimer, for we don't want to get into any trouble that may occur. WE don't own Artemis Fowl, Butler, or any other Artemis Fowl character that may or may not show up in the story.**

**There we go! Now, on to the next chapter.**

* * *

Stephanie fingered blades of grass in the back yard. Her legs were hugged close to her chest, her chin rested on her knees. The mark of tears showed on her cheeks, but she cried no longer. Stephanie learned to control her tears.

A daddy longlegs crawled onto her foot. Stephanie didn't shoo it away. Even though it most likely didn't have facial expressions, it looked content with life. Not a care in the world, except maybe a worry for food. It reminded Stephanie that she should be content, too. She had no reason to cry, or fret, or anything. Just be cool.

She thought about it. Why _was_ she crying, over a stupid fake biography? That's no reason to get worked up. Why, it's just so silly! If she was offended by the biography then she could just make another one herself and thank Artemis for his effort anyway.

Artemis…

Stephanie then realized how terribly rude she had been to the boy, and after so many things he's done for her. In one simple day he had made her life nearly complete. The way she lashed out was absolutely horrid. Stephanie wouldn't be able to bear with herself unless she apologized to Artemis.

She was about to do so until she saw an odd looking person approach the garden gate.  
'Who is that?' she thought. He sat down next to her, without invitation. She would have told him off if she was on her property, but she wasn't, so she didn't.

"I'm Ben Cole," he said. "You don't know me yet, but you will. Our destinies are intertwined. You cannot escape." Not only did this freak Stephanie out, but Stephanie began to feel hot. She blushed, no matter how hard she attempted to force back the blush, it didn't work. He grabbed her hand and Stephanie felt a cool sensation swimming throughout her body. A few seconds later, Ben had taken her to a room, but without walking. They had seemed to float there, to a house, in a village. He opened the door and pushed Stephanie in.

A man walked into the room toa long-haired blonde female, who was attempting to feed twin toddlers banana's. "This is bananas," she said, chuckling at the pun. The very, very, very bad pun. The man covered the females eyes and whispered, "Guess who." And I bet you all think she'll say Ben, and it will be Ben. Because she did say Ben, and it was Ben.

Stephanie felt an overwhelming sadness and joy overcome her. She would have two beautiful kids and a perfect husband. But the husband would not be the person that she constantly thought of. "Come, come, come, come…" And it echoed out as she was handed a white rose. He disappeared, and Stephanie opened her eyes. It was not a dream, she knew, for the white rose in her hand was proof.

She shook her head, dropped the rose, and noticed Artemis walking towards her. He had taken his loafers off (Noodle-Good, I hate loafers. The things are ugly, they are.). Stephanie picked up the daddy longlegs in her palm and held it up to her face in a silent 'thank you'. It seemed to wink, even though facial expression still couldn't be seen, and crawled down Stephanie's arm and into the grass. Stephanie's head clear, the conversation started.

Artemis was going to say something, but Stephanie spoke first. "Are you here to apologize?" She was calm.

"Eh?" Artemis looked somewhat confused.

"Because if you aren't, I'm okay with it," she told him. "I'm the one who should apologize."

"You, apologize?" Artemis waved the thought off. "Nonsense. I shouldn't have written the biography without notifying you in the first place. If anyone is to apologize it's me." He sat cross-legged in the grass across from Stephanie.

"No, I got angry over nothing. It's _me _who should apologize."

"No. I'm apologizing. End of story, good-bye, get over it."

Stephanie laughed. "You're dumb."

"Oh, and you aren't?" Artemis asked playfully, smirking.

"Nope."

"Nope ain't a word."

They both giggled. It was as if all emotional injuries were healing before them, just because they were laughing and joking with each other.

Suddenly Stephanie noticed two ladybugs doing something in the grass that small children shouldn't read about. She pointed it out to Artemis. "Lookit the ladybugs."

He looked down at the ladybugs. "Oh my."

"That's icky."

Artemis 'psh-ed'. "How do you think you were born, eh?"

"Not like that, I wasn't!" Stephanie exclaimed, giggling again.

"What, did you hatch from an egg?" Artemis smirked once more.

"Yes."

There was silence at first, then a great burst of laughter. That was when everything became okay again, everything was alright. It felt to both of them that the world couldn't get any happier, and everything revolved around their joy. Fights, crime, hate, sadness, it didn't exist anymore. It had evaporated because they were enjoying each other's company.

When they calmed down Stephanie started a conversation on eye color. "I like yours," she complimented. "They look like the color of my birthstone."

"Sapphire?"

"Yuh-huh. They're very pretty."

Artemis blushed for the third, maybe fourth time that day. "Thank you; I inherited my iris color from my father."

"Really? Lucky duck."

That launched a huge conversation about numerous things: Weather, nature, pollution, bugs, most anything you can name. They went on and on, never running out of subjects, ideas and guesses about something or another.

This went on until the sun set, when they had to go inside before they caught a chill. Even as the sun lowered, however, a new friendship was just rising over the horizon.

* * *

_4/10/06_

_I found a blank diary in the room I'm staying in and Artemis said I could use it to write down what I want. So, I'm now to introduce myself. I am the magnificent Stephanie, former mermaid and princess. I'm fourteen and have blonde hair and blue-green-gray eyes. I'm not that tall for a human, but I don't mind. It doesn't matter. _

_Today was especially eventful. Today I actually became a human, and how joyous I feel to be so. The sky is the limit for me, and I don't plan to waste the opportunity to reach for what I believe in. After all, I've received my freedoms. It's all because of Artemis Fowl the Second._

_Artemis, hmm, he's alright. A bit stiff at times but he can let out, if you just push the right buttons (No profanity, thank you). He has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, though. I envy them with all my heart. Not enough to be bitter at Artemis, but just enough to make me want to tear his eyes out and wear them as gems on my fingers. I've noticed that if he's in the right light, his eyes make him look…I don't know. It just gives me a funny feeling. _

_His parents are nice, oh so very nice. I think I'll steal those along with Artemis' eyes, if I have the time. They treat me as if I've lived here for ages and ages. They feel like parents to me, for some reason. _

_I have to go; this dumb pencil's giving me hand cramps. I'll have to find some sort of pencil grip tomorrow…_

* * *

Artemis sat cross-legged on his bed in his pajamas, twirling a pen between his fingers because Stephanie had gone to bed and he had nothing better to do. 

He thought about Stephanie, about her eyes. They would change color with her mood. When he first approached her after the fight they were a greenish blue. As they furthered their conversation and lightened up, however, they turned a bright, sky blue. Stephanie looked pretty when they were blue, when she was happy…

Wait. _Pretty_? Artemis would've expected himself to use a bigger word than 'pretty', if he were to use a word of the sort at all. Was he going mental, or was it something else? He was sure he wasn't going mental, so it obviously must've been something else.

Artemis resolved to ignore it until later. Much later.

* * *

Juliet and Stephanie came back from the clothing store sometime during noon the next day. Stephanie figured that she couldn't keep wearing Juliet's clothes, for that would be rude. 

Stephanie came back wearing an orange baby tee, corduroy orange pants, an orange mini-skirt _over_ those pants, fuzzy, pastel blue Converse and an orange bucket hat with flower imprints.

Artemis had to stare. "What, pray tell, are you wearing?" he asked, obviously oblivious as to who would wear such an ensemble.

"Clothes," Stephanie answered simply, shrugging. She acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

For the rest of the day Stephanie spent her time rearranging her guest room the way she wanted it with some things they bought on the way home. When she was finished at the end of the day her new sheets were blue and covered with moons and stars. On her dresser were glass spirals with yellow glass moons mounted neatly on the tips. She stuck a decal one could take off and reuse any time on the window that looked like stained glass. It had constellations on it, scattered over a black-blue background. Plastic stars hung from the ceiling by transparent string that spun a little when the room got cold. The ordinary light bulb for the room was replaced with a blue one that created a glow that looked like moonlight.

"This should be your room," Stephanie told Artemis. "It matches with your eyes."

"It matches with your eyes just as well as it does mine," he said.

Only Artemis knew what he really meant. Her eyes were lovely, and Stephanie had made her room lovely as well. She made it an outdoor utopia inside, a celestial palace all for herself.

He thought the room was beautiful, just as he thought Stephanie's eyes were beautiful.

* * *

**Yeah, I know, very cheesy and short. But you know what? I typed this all myself. So you can bug off. Okay? Okay. **

**Regards, Noodle**

**Oh, and thanks to everyone who reviewed the story. I appreciate it! **

**So she says! I added a good deal to the chapter to my fair Noodle! **

**-Frogerita**

**update You could've erased my other note, Frogerita. I would have written another one. But no, you had to go and be lazy…**

**Regards, Noodle**


	7. Of Gifts and Fuzzy Feelings

**Disclaimer: Hey, we don't own Arty, OR Ben Cole. He's in the Vampire Plague Trilogy, only, older.**

**I know, I know, we've been lazy bums. We haven't been updating, doing this, doing that, la de la. Call us what you like, we don't care. Just read the story and review because it makes us happy. You want to make us happy and you know it. **

**Regards, Noodle**

**Okay. Here is the real chapter. Don't worry, I didn't kill her. Yet.**

**-Frogerita**

_4/12/06_

_I don't know why I was having this thought. I realized that I'm fourteen and I'm a former princess, yet I've never been kissed. Is there something wrong with me? Am I icky-looking? What is it! All of my acquaintances and/or enemies have kissed someone before. Do I sound jealous? I think I do. _

_As I went over this thought I became more and more depressed, and as you can imagine, I'm still depressed. I feel like I'll be left like this for eternity, wondering, dreaming, hoping, but never receiving. Will I drift on…?_

Artemis caught Stephanie sitting on the balcony, moping. It was dreary and cloudy outside on that particular day, and light drizzle fell from the heavens. The air smelled cold and renewed. Stephanie's hair was just next to soaked, so Artemis assumed she had been out there for quite a while.

He found an umbrella and shortly after sat down beside the depressed-looking girl. He let it unfold and put it over both of their heads. "Is anything the matter?" he asked.

"If I told you what it was you'd laugh," Stephanie told him. She gently pushed the umbrella over Artemis' head, leaving her open to the rain.

"Don't you want cover? You're dripping wet."

"The rain is calming."

Artemis didn't see how being chilled to the bone by falling water was calming, but he said nothing about it. "Would you please tell me what's troubling you?"

Stephanie thought about it, and then gave in. She took her journal from under her shirt (it was quite small, the journal) and handed to Artemis. "Second entry," she said.

Artemis read through it in under half a minute (Impressive, no?). He closed the journal and gave it back. "To tell you the truth I'm quite surprised," he said.

"With the entry?" Stephanie sat up straight.

"With the fact that you've never been kissed before. I mean, it isn't much of an issue, but I really am quite surprised. Someone with a royal rank such as yours would usually be in an arranged relationship by now. Beside that however, you're attractive, intelligent, creative-" He paused after he realized what he said, and then hastily added, "I'm saying these things as a _friend. _Anyway, after listing your qualities I really see no reason one wouldn't be that attracted to you. It's rather puzzling."

Stephanie blushed. "You really think so?"

"As a friend, nothing more!" Artemis waved a finger at her. "Now," he said, standing up. "We must go inside before we get sick. I don't feel like being a dribbling snot faucet all week."

After Stephanie had gotten out of her rain-soaked clothes and taken a shower, she sat at the edge of her bed and thought of the previous moment while drying her hair in a towel (Woo, long sentence). Artemis had told her she was attractive, that was the most noticeable comment he made. No one had _ever_ called Stephanie attractive, not even her own father. Aren't parents supposed to do that? It's was startling to hear that come from Artemis.

"Maybe he…" Stephanie didn't finish. She knew it wasn't possible. _It's only been three days, _she thought. _He'd have to be like Shawn to be stuck on me that quickly. _

Then she remembered that Ben guy, what she had seen that day. That assured her that it couldn't be possible. Artemis' name wasn't Ben, of course, but Stephanie almost wished it was.

"Maybe Artemis could change his name…" she joked to herself. Seeing as that probably wouldn't happen, tears started to form in Stephanie's eyes.

During the night, as Stephanie dreamed, a human visited her. The human placed various items of "importance" around the room.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The Following Day…

Stephanie woke to a room cluttered with the oddest of things. Things such as flowers, chocolates, hearts, balloons, _real_ hearts, cats, gift baskets, and for some odd reason, a really cheesy birthday card.

"What the- KITTY!" Stephanie hopped out of bed and began chasing her new cat around the gift baskets, through a pile of muffins, above the chocolates, and for some reason, _away_ from the real hearts.

Stephanie finally caught the cat and decided to name it Nathaniel. Her next plan was to ask Artemis why in heaven's name her room had been stuffed with gifts and kitties. She opened her bedroom door and a shower of heart confetti spilled over her head.

Artemis had been going by at that very moment. He stared at her and tried not to giggle at the agitated girl. "Why are you covered in small bits of shaped paper?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," she answered, flicking a handful of confetti in Artemis' face.

Artemis scowled and looked over Stephanie's shoulder. "Who gave you all of these-KITTY!"

"Wait!" Stephanie held him back from chasing Nathaniel around the room. "You mean you didn't give me all of this crap?"

"Of course I didn't. If I did I would probably be running a high fever and I'd be at the verge of death."

"Oh, that was touching. I feel so special now."

"Great, you should." Artemis noticed the birthday card. "Isn't your birthday in September?"

"Yes."

Suddenly Shawn came walking by and noticed the chocolates. At that moment he thought of a plan.

"Ehrm, you like your gifts, Steph?" he asked Stephanie.

"Don't call me that," Stephanie said in a bland, irritated voice.

Artemis turned to the seven-year-old. "You act as if you gave all of this to her."

"I did."

"My doubt for that is really, _really _high."

"I diiiid!" Shawn whined.

"And you got the money to buy all of this where?"

Shawn grinned. "I found your wallet." He then ran, knowing that he would probably be chased and beaten down. Artemis was very sensitive when it came to his wallet. Artemis ran as fast as he could after Shawn and Stephanie followed to make sure that Shawn wasn't turned into a pile of perverted dust.

Okay, Shawn _wasn't _turned to a pile of perverted dust. We thought we might tell you this, so all "Shawn-we-hate-you" fans will be disappointed. But for the rest of the week, Shawn _did_ have an ice pack on his black eye. Feel good Shawn haters. Antyways. Artemis was in trouble with our dear beloved Stephanie. It turns out, you see, young Shawn did NOT steal Artemis' wallet. Oh dear. So she sat on his head all day. The end.

No, she didn't really, but we got bored and decided to have fun. What really happened was…

"Say sorry."

"No."

"Say it…"

"I refuse to apologize!"

":Fine."

Stephanie turned around and walked out of the Artemis' room.

'She's gone, and I no longer have to apologize to annoy-me-to-no-end cousins

Quite suddenly, Artemis was toppled to the ground and sat upon. "You will, I repeat, will say 'I apologize to you Cousin Shawn.'"

"NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!"

"Yes." She hissed menacingly

And for the first time in all his life, someone else won. Stephanie. I think we should award her with face cream, a pedicure, a treadmill and medical attention. Both physical and mentally. In your dreams. As if. Artemis is Artemis. Therefore, Artemis always wins. Okay, what really happened

Artemis paused. Stephanie waited for the "Yes, ma'am" she had been wanting. She never got that reply, however, for Artemis had caught her off guard and started tickling her sides. Stephanie broke out in insane giggling that sounded as if it came from a dying hyena. She couldn't move, and that left her defenseless.

Artemis quickly pushed Stephanie off of him and zipped out the door. Butler, who was standing in the doorway, stared at Artemis, then Stephanie. "Err," he said. "Is there a dying animal in here?"

Stephanie just glared at him.

While Artemis lie in bed and let his thoughts carry him into slumber he thought about that previous morning, when Stephanie had her hands on his shoulders. He may have not shown it (he was very good at hiding that kind of thing) but her touch was warm to him and made him feel comfortable and strange at the same time. After only three, maybe four days, Artemis knew he shouldn't feel like this when it's been such a short period of time. Yet, he did, and he couldn't stop it. He didn't want to stop it. The feeling felt nice.

As Artemis' eyes closed and he drifted to sleep, Ben watched him from the darkest corner of the room, analyzing everything he could about the child prodigy.

**Oooh, creepy. What's Ben doing, I wonder? We'll have to find out in later chapters. Not the next one though, that's too soon and would ruin everything. **

**I've written the rest of this chapter by my lonesome because I'm thinking that Frogerita got grounded and couldn't send me our progress. Either that or she's just being mean and won't send the stupid file. If she wants she can edit it, but I'm posting it anyway. We need to update desperately. **

**Review please! **

**PLEASE.**

**For me? I'll love you forever.**

**Regards, Noodle**

**Okay. Here is the real chapter. Don't worry, I didn't kill her. Yet. I will though. The chapter 9 may not include Noodle. We just had a fight with the keyboard. Isn't it grand?**

**-Frogerita**


	8. Of Dugongs and Shampoo

**FROGERITA. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'M SORRY. But I had to continue the story. I was bored and I felt the urge to write…I can resist the urge to write. I'm a published (Second grade, long story) writer for Artemis' sake! Get mad at me, whatever, I don't care. **

**Don't kill me! Noodle**

* * *

Stephanie was walking down the corridor to Artemis' bedroom so she could sneak some of his shampoo and use it the next morning. She noticed that his shampoo made his hair shiny and she wanted to try it. 

As she walked past one room, Stephanie noticed that a faint sound of crying was coming from the crack beneath the door. It sounded like Shawn, so she concluded that this was his room. She was afraid to enter, yet she wanted to know what was wrong. Besides, if she didn't do anything about it Artemis might hear and make the situation worse. He wasn't much good at comforting people.

Stephanie opened the door a crack to find Shawn concealed in his covers, shivering and whining. A night-light was plugged in but it had burned out. The curtains were closed, so no moon light was there to brighten the room.

Stephanie silently walked to Shawn and sat at his side. She uncovered him slowly so she wouldn't scare him. "Hey, little guy," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

Shawn sat up, wiped a tear away and started going on about a nightmare. He cried while he did this, so he wasn't coherent, and that left Stephanie to nod as if she understood every word he coughed up. She did understand the end, though. Shawn said, "…and then I-I-I woke up and it was all dark and Imma scared of the dark!" He started bawling out loud.

Since Artemis was just down the hall and it would be life-threatening to wake him at such an hour with a small child's crying, Stephanie needed to calm him down quickly (Long sentence again X.x). She wrapped her arms around the boy's shoulders, rested her head on his, rocked side to side and started singing to a song she had heard on the radio a few days back.

* * *

Artemis woke to hear soft singing coming from down the corridor.

"_Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows..."_

He wondered if someone had suddenly turned the radio on.

"_Only time..."_

"Where on Earth is that coming from?" he asked himself. He got out of bed and walked slowly down the long, long hallway.

"_And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose..."_

Artemis listened closely. It seemed to come from Shawn's room five doors down.

"_Only time..."_

The interlude was skipped. Artemis knew it couldn't be a radio. He walked faster. His bare feet pattered and the sound echoed through the corridors.

"_Who can say why your heart sighs, as your love flies...Only time..."_

Artemis reached Shawn's bedroom door. It was opened a crack. He peeked inside and saw Stephanie singing to him, rocking him to give Shawn comfort. The boy's eyes were half closed.

Artemis stood by the doorway with his back to the wall and listened. He felt like his heart would explode in his chest. Stephanie's singing was angelic to his ears, he didn't want the sound to leave.

"_Who can say when the roads meet, that love might be in your heart..."_

When she was almost done with the song Artemis peeked again. Shawn had fallen asleep and Stephanie didn't know. Artemis decided to let her finish the song. It was all for his benefit now.

Right before the last word in the song Artemis came in. Stephanie looked up at him. He said, "Shawn has been asleep, you know."

Stephanie flushed. "You were listening?"

Artemis nodded. "It was nice."

"Erm, thanks." Stephanie lay Shawn down gently and put the covers over him. "What are you doing up anyway?"

"I heard your singing," Artemis replied.

"Was I that loud?" Stephanie asked, flushing again.

"No, the door was ajar." Artemis sat by Stephanie. "Have you ever taken singing lessons?"

"Never, but I've been in choir. We were horrible," Stephanie said, chuckling. "When we had concerts we sounded like dying sea cows." She quietly imitated a dying dugong and Artemis laughed.

"I honestly don't know if I can sing or not," he told her.

"Have you tried?"

"Not really, no."

Stephanie stood up. "I bed you'd sound wonderful if you did." With that, she left the room to Artemis, who sat there thinking about actually trying to sing.

_Hopefully, if I try,_ he thought, _I won't sound like a dying sea cow._

* * *

"_WHERE'S MY SHAMPOO!"_

Artemis stormed through Stephanie's bedroom door, soaked and wrapped in nothing but a towel around his waist. She looked up from playing with Nathaniel and her eyes widened. "Whoa."

"Where _is_ it, Stephanie?" Artemis looked furious. "You were the only other person awake last night, I know you took it."

"Can I use it first?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO!"

So Stephanie gave the shampoo back, but was rather sore about it for the rest of the day. For instance, when Artemis was eating lunch (it was something fancy, I'm sure) Stephanie commented. "Your hair is really shiny. Mine could be like that right now, but no . You had to be stubborn. Are you happy now?" Artemis merely gave her a "yes".

At the end of the day Stephanie bribed Shawn with chocolate from the day before to beg and plead for the shampoo. Of course, when Shawn was handed the candies he immediately ran into his room, locked the door and munched away until he got sick. Thus, that plan was a failure, and Stephanie was out of ideas.

She did find a surprise, however.

When she came back to her room feeling rather dismal over the shampoo, she noticed two bottles tied together in fancy red ribbon sitting on her desk. They were both full of two substances. One had clear, ruby red liquid in it and the other had a cloudy pink liquid. It looked a lot like-

"Artemis' shampoo! And stuff!" She picked up the bottles. They were brand new and had an odd scent coming from them. It smelled like roses, even though the shampoo smelled like pomegranates and mangos. She turned them around and noticed a very small, white card on it. The writing said:

_With love, Ben_

Stephanie shook her head and whispered, "Who are you?

* * *

_4/13/06_

_Okay, this is getting really freaky. There was this guy that calls himself Ben and he says that our destinies are intertwined. Earlier I found some shampoo that said it was from him. I think he gave me the crap from yesterday as well. The strangest thing of all, though, is that I've never met a Ben in my live, yet he acts like we've been friends since who-knows-when. He looks a lot like Artemis, too. I can tell he dyed his hair black, though. I could see flecks of blonde last time I saw him. Maybe that might come in handy one day._

_Augh, stupid cat. Nathaniel needs attention. Too bad for him I need to go to bed.Cheers!_

* * *

**Now, if you're someone who likes to think things out and figure out a situation in a book before it happens, you will want to remember that diary entry. Very, very vital to what I'm planning. I'll have to go over it with Frogerita, though. I hope she lets me use my idea. (:**

**Regards, Noodle**


	9. Of Almost Firsts and Concern

**I can already feel the bad karma rising within me. I've been writing here and there, I feel horrible. But if I didn't write I'd feel worse so ON WITH IT.**

**Regards, Noodle**

* * *

Nothing happened for a few days at Fowl Manor. Shawn was still sick from all of that candy Stephanie had given him, Stephanie couldn't think of any fake pirate adventures to act out and Artemis' computer had crashed so he had to fix it. Artemis was very, very cranky during that time. Stephanie dared not enter his room, for she feared that her fingers might be bitten off.

Because this period of time was so boring, I will tell you a tale that _isn't_ boring. Once upon a time, Stephanie was exploring when she found some floor wax. She concocted a plan of fun-time and possible injury. She waxed all of the floors in her corridor and put on some of her pajamas. After getting a good start and running across the floor at a high velocity, Stephanie fell and slid all the way to the end of the hallway. While doing so, Butler happened to be walking by. Stephanie ran into his feet and Butler was taken down. Stuck in a big flesh pile, both of the bounced off of the wall and started going to in the opposite direction. They screamed all the way down the corridor, horrified and excited at the same time. It was like a roller coaster! Finally they slammed into the wall and came to a complete stop. Butler got up and staggered away, confused and dazed, while Stephanie lay on the floor laughing uncontrollably.

That was the before Artemis finally got his computer fixed and everything was fine and dandy with him. He decided to spend the day with Stephanie doing whatever they could think of. Stephanie even suggested that they do what she did the day before. Artemis was forced to accept. He ended up with a bruise and Stephanie ended up being tickled as punishment.

Later that night the sat outside to watch the stars hang over their heads. They talked about random topics and at one point Artemis explained how black holes function. Stephanie tried to understand a word he said and failed miserably.

After a short silence, Artemis asked, "Would you sing for me?"

"Hm?" Stephanie sat up.

"I said, would you sing for me?"

Stephanie gave him a 'What-the-heck?" look. "…Why?"

"I like your voice," Artemis said simply.

"Err, okay," Stephanie obliged. "What do you want me to sing?"

"You choose, I don't care."

Stephanie chose the song "Held" by Natalie Grant, another song she had heard on the radio a few days back and started to sing. Artemis felt the same way he had the night he first heard the girl sing, except the feeling was deeper this time. Maybe it was the choice of song, Artemis didn't know (for once). He just wanted to be closer to Stephanie. This was all so mysterious to him.

Stephanie finished, her voice fading into the night.

"Wow." Artemis said, at a complete loss for words, except for that one simple phrase.

Stephanie blushed, thankful for the encasement of the darkness.

Suddenly, music drifted from the highest room of the tallest, erm, floor? Oh, manor story. Whatever.

The song was Don't Let Go; it went something like this:

I can't believe this moment's come  
It's so incredible that we're alone  
(AN: Hey, Shawn's not here!)

There's so much to be said and done  
It's impossible not to be overcome  
(AN: Now that we think about it, it's true)

Will you forgive me if I feel this way  
Cuz we've just met - tell me that's okay  
(AN:Oh my gosh. Hey, it's true.)

So take this feeling'n make it grow  
Never let it - never let it go  
(AN: They probably will.)

(Don't let go of the things you believe in)  
You give me something that I can believe in  
(AN: Artemis gave Stephanie hope to live on land, so, it's true.)

(Don't' let go of this moment in time)  
Go of this moment in time  
(AN: Hey, they're getting closer to each other.(

(Don't let go of things that you're feeling)  
I can't explain the things that I'm feeling  
(Don't' let go)  
No, I won't let go  
Now would you mind if I bared my soul  
If I came right out and said you're beautiful  
Cuz there's something here I can't explain  
I feel I'm diving into driving rain  
You get my senses running wild  
I can't resist your sweet, sweet smile  
So take this feeling'n make it grow

(AN: Like a weed!)  
Never let it - never let it go

Chorus:  
I've been waiting all my life  
To make this moment feel so right  
The feel of you just fills the night  
So c'mon - just hold on tight

(AN: Okay. ;D)

As they were listening to the song (even though they had no idea why it was on) they had gotten nearer to each other. And just as Artemis and Stephanie were leaning closer and closer to a kiss, Shawn pops out from behind a tree. (AN: We spoke t soon.)

"Ah ha ha! I caught you trying to steal my woman! I'm telling your mother!" Shawn continued in this manner until Stephanie threatened to toss a tremendous rock at his head. He ran back into the manor after promising to keep his trap shut.

"Well then," Artemis said, straightening up. "That was quite embarrassing."

"Really now?"

"Don't you use sarcasm with me."

"Wanna see me try?"

"Yah!" Artemis started tickling Stephanie's sides.

"Stop, this is not amusing!" Stephanie giggled.

"Really? You seem to be laughing."

"I thought you knew how that whole thing worked, Mr. Genius."

This went on for a while until Butler told them what time it was.

Ten o' clock.

Thus, they had to go to bed, however that night they could hardly get to sleep. They thought of each other too much.

When Stephanie did get to sleep, though, she soon wished, desperately, that she hadn't.

* * *

_Stephanie stood in a white room in her pajamas, her eyes closed. She could feel nothing around her and no presence of any human life. It gave her chills; she had no idea where she was._

_Suddenly a wave of cold hit her. In surprise she gave a sharp gasp and opened her eyes. Ben stood in front of her looking just like Artemis, only blonde flecks still littered his hair. He looked deadly serious. _

"_I know you are trying to get away, Stephanie," he said calmly. "I know you've been getting attached to that boy, Artemis. I also know he likes you, too."_

"_He-he does?" Stephanie gulped. _

"_Ha! Of course. After tonight how could it not be obvious? It won't be obvious for long, though." Ben stepped forward._

_As if the were beginning a dance, Stephanie stepped back. "And why not?"_

"_Because he won't love you any longer, once I'm done here." He stepped forward once more. _

"_What do you want?" Stephanie asked in a tone that showed her fear. She couldn't move or think. She wanted to, she needed to, but she wasn't able. She was too scared of what might happen or what Ben might say. _

_Ben chuckled under his breath. Then he whispered:_

"_I want you."_

_In one sudden movement Ben had grabbed Stephanie's wrist and pulled her close, as if to kiss her. Before he got the chance to…_

Stephanie sat up rigid, sweating and panting. It had all felt so real to her: Fear, fury, confusion, all of it. The room, the situation, Ben's touch.

She looked at the wrist Ben grabbed. A pewter charm bracelet hung around it, gleaming in the moonlight that shone through the window. Charms shaped like hearts and flowers hung from the chain.

_It was all real. _

Hurriedly, Stephanie jumped out of bed, pulled off the bracelet and threw it in the top drawer of her dresser. She slammed it shut. Hard.

* * *

Artemis noticed that Stephanie looked tired the next morning. He asked if she felt alright. 

"I think I might have caught a chill," she lied, "from how cold it was last night. I couldn't sleep."

Artemis looked concerned. "Do you need any medicine?"

"No. I'm alright." She shook her head. "It will probably go away by this afternoon."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Artemis. Thank you, though."

For the rest of the day Artemis noticed that Stephanie was rather shy and jumpy. This wasn't like her at all. Usually she was bubbly and open with anyone, but now….

It concerned Artemis thoroughly. He had suspicion that she was lying about her "chill". _Maybe she had an odd dream that scared her, _thought Artemis. _Then again, she would've told me about it if it was a dream._

_What if it's something happening in reality?_

* * *

_4/17/06_

_This is getting really frustrating, this Ben thing. He's trying to keep Artemis away, make him stop feeling the way he does. I don't know how he's going to do it, but he said he would. He also said he wanted me. I don't even know him, or do I? What if he's someone from home? _

_Nah, it couldn't be. I don't know any boys that are blonde or that fond of me. In that combination, I mean. Then again, he could be in disguise over a disguise. _

_Oh, it's all so maddening! I'm going to go insane! My only hopes now are that Ben leaves me alone and Artemis doesn't find this entry…_

**Well, this is shameful. We haven't been writing as much as we used to. Are we running out of ideas? No, we can't be! Can we…?**

**Uh-oh.**

**Regards, a Fearful Noodle**


	10. Of Ben's and Burgeloo Burger

**We earned a teddy bear! Woo! Thanks, to all who have been reviewing. You're all awesome and I love you guys to death. (:**

**Regards, Frogerita**

**We earned a teddy bear! Woo! Thanks, to all who have been reviewing. You're all awesome and I love you guys to death. (:**

**Regards, Noodle**

* * *

Of course, Artemis was curious over the fact dear Stephanie was so blue. He decided to search through her room, to perhaps find her diary. But Stephanie had hid it well, and so, Artemis knew nothing of the diary's presence and of its secrets. 

Stephanie was, but of course, relaxing in the garden. Her thoughts strayed to the boy-man she hardly knew, and all the possibilities of perhaps knowing him.

"Stephanie!"

"Wha?"

"It's time you met, Ben, my other cousin."

Stephanie was to shocked for words. Her mouth opened as she gazed at Artemis as if he had killed her mommy. But, that was krill. (You know, the things whales eat.)

"Obviously, you are overwhelmed by the fact that you are to meet another cousin."

"Yeah, let's go with that."

Stephanie slowly stood, and backed away. "I'm feeling, terrified and utterly sick. Be back soon." She turned to find a miniature Artemis. Only, he was BEN!

Stephanie ran and hid behind Artemis breathing deeply.

"Stay back, and no one gets hurt!" Stephanie shrieked shrilly, holding out Artemis' hand as a weapon.

"…What are you doing?"

"None of your beeswax, that's what."

Stephanie jumped at the kid, and whispered menacingly, "Why do you haunt my dreams?"

"What, I dunno, why are you asking?" the child retracted.

"Why can't you leave me alone? What do you want from me?"

"I don't even know you, lady!"

Stephanie quickly ran off, only to meet Ben, the older Ben. Stephanie had had it. She began screaming and ran for her room. "I'll be safe there." She whispered to herself.

Meanwhile…

"Why is she afraid of a five year old?"

"Can I have ice cream?" Ben asked.

"No." Artemis replied.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"Please."

"Your just like Shawn." Artemis muttered.

"PLEASE! I'll give you five dollars and thirteen cents."

"Okay." And young Ben received his well earned ice cream.

* * *

"I'm okay, I'm not crazy, life is good, don't worry about me," Stephanie said in a hysterical tone.

"Then why did you freak out when I introduced you to my cousin, Ben?" Artemis sounded nosy, which he was being at the moment.

"Um. Reasons."

"What reasons?" Artemis asked, folding his arms in impatience.

"I was… on… a sugar high! I told you not to give me cereal this morning." She waved a finger at him.

"Alright, whatever you say." That was a good enough answer for the genius. He left Stephanie in her room.

Later that day…

The crew (Butler, Stephanie, Artemis and Juliet. Of course Shawn isn't very important.) was walkin' down the pier singin' do op do op do op do op. (Well, not really, but we thought it would be fun.)

Each person had a large bag full of Juliet's junk. She was the only one who was shopping. Everyone else was her slave. Well, except Artemis. He's a lazy bum, you could say.

Stephanie was at the end of the line, at the edge of the pier, carrying the second heaviest bag and was panting. "Why must _I _carry this one?"

"I refuse to carry anything, that's why." Artemis gave her a smarmy look.

"Just as Stephanie was about to retort, an old man pushed her into the water inadvertently!" Butler exclaimed.

And at that very moment, Stephanie was inadvertently pushed into the water by an old man!

Because she was panicking, Stephanie held onto the heavy bag which dragged her under the water. She had no idea how to swim with human legs and was utterly hopeless. Her gills would be useful at the moment but, alas, she had none, and was starting to run out of air.

Stephanie, after gathering her thoughts when she realized she was lowering below the water's surface, let go of the bag of junk and started concentrating on resurfacing. She tried to doggy paddle back up and failed so horribly she felt like making fun of herself. She began to slowly lose consciousness because of the lack of air. Her lungs couldn't hold the carbon dioxide any longer, and she let go of her breath. Her reflexes, or instinct, or…something caused her to cough and water entered her lungs. She completely blacked out.

* * *

"Umm… Where is Stephanie?" Butler looked around. 

"Where do you think? You're the one that foretold her future!"

"My stuff!" Shrieked Juliet.

The end. (:

Will Stephanie survive, is she happy? I don't know find out in chapter 11.

We aren't that mean. Please continue reading.

Butler quickly dove into the water and after a few sad moments of suspense, Butler came up, carrying Stephanie over his shoulder. He gently set her down.

"And then Artemis used his extensive knowledge to perform the Heimlich on Stephanie."

"No."

"Artemis, I foretold it, now it shall be done!" Butler clapped his hands.

Artemis sighed and grabbed Stephanie around the abdomen and applied an upward pressure. 8tephanie puked up water, just water.

"Eugh. Water, how I love it." Stephanie said sardonically.

"As do I." Artemis replied, wiping his hands on his shirt.

"And we all left for Burgeloo burgers for lunch, for Butler was hungry," Butler predicted again.

Stephanie gave him a weird look. "What?"

"I have said it, so now it shall be done!" Butler clapped his hands twice.

"Are you okay?" Juliet asked. She worried for her brother's health.

"No." Butler replied.

And so, the crew went to Burgeloo burgers and Stephanie growled to the world. A few hours and sneezes later, the quad arrived to the Fowl Manor. Everyone settled into their nightly activities, as Stephanie wrote in her journal.

* * *

_4/18/06, _

_I am a dribbling snot faucet. An old man that just happened to be coming past and "accidentally" pushed me over the pier and into the water, thus my nose has been running ever since. Artemis saved me, although he didn't want to. Maybe it was because of Butler's predictions, that was freaky. He kept telling of future events. Then again, he made us do whatever he said, for it was what he foretold and it had to be done. _

_I met mini-Ben today, who was Artemis' cousin. I went completely out of my mind (Who wouldn't?). What if mini-Ben is my stalker? He didn't act like he knew me, though. At all. I think I scared him severely. So many questions to be answered that I obviously can't answer! AUGH!_

_And I must figure out how to foil Butlers horrid attempt to be a psychic. _

**

* * *

**

Hi peoples. We are sorry we suck. YOU ALL GET OATMEAL BATHS! Unless you're allergic. Then you get an applesauce bath. And cookies. We wish we had written more, but we haven't. Yes, we feel terrified that you will stop reviewing. Yes. We do deserve to be hit. We are sorry. We weep. At least, I do. Good-bye.

**Happy day, Frogerita**

**You know what I think? I think that fewer people are reviewing because they stop after the first chapter. Yes, it may look a bit stupid. But guess what? The rest of the story isn't. I thought Lord of the Flies might've been stupid at first, but it wasn't. I like it; it's one of my favorite books, etc. So don't judge a book by its first few pages, m'kayyy?  
**

**Regards, Noodle**


	11. Of Puppets and Flashbacks

**Euch, writer's block is so icky. I wish there were mini construction workers that kept the mind in place and they could remove annoying writer's block. You would be able to hear everything they are doing while they're working. That would be the neatest thing. :3**

**Regards, Noodle**

Stephanie's day began with a puppet she found under her bed. It was a dino puppet with Sharpie eyes, felt teeth, yellow felt spikes along its back and was made out of a green sock. When she had found it the sock was coated in dust and a cobweb or two.

She dusted it off and put it on her hand.

"Awesome!"

That morning, when Artemis was sitting at the kitchen counter, thinking about whatever he thinks about in the morning, a sock puppet raised its head above the counter surface. He looked at it and raised an eyebrow. "Stephanie?" he asked.

"Possibly," the puppet replied without its mouth moving.

"Where did you get that puppet?"

"What puppet?"

"The puppet on your hand."

The dino puppet shifted a little. "I don't have any hands."

First a pause, then Artemis sighed. "Really, Stephanie, where did you find the puppet?"

"I don't like your tone," the dino puppet responded. "You're implying something, aren't you?"

"…What?"

"You think I'm fat? No, you think _Stephanie_ is fat! Oooh, I'm going to t-e-e-e-ll." The puppet started "walking" down the edge of the counter.

"Oh, no you don't!" Artemis swiped the puppet off of Stephanie's hand.

"Ah, I'm nude!" Stephanie's hand exclaimed. Her hand ducked down behind the counter. "My, oh my, I am so embarrassed. Have you no shame, boy!"

Artemis walked to the other side of the counter and found Stephanie having a silent giggle fit. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Stephanie stopped and looked up at him. She said nothing, but started up a hysterical laugh. All of this was absolutely hilarious to her. Artemis wondered about her mental stability.

Standing up, Stephanie giggled, "That puppet is oodles of fun!" She took the puppet and put it back on her hand. "I found it under my bed. Who would stuff such a cool dino puppet under a bed?"

Artemis thought about it…

_A five-year-old Artemis went flying down a corridor, screaming, a puppet in hand. He entered a random guest room and crammed the puppet under the bed. Little Artemis junior hoped that the scary dinosaur play thing would never see the light of day again. _

"I honestly have no idea," Artemis lied.

"Hm, well," Stephanie thought aloud, "maybe we could freak Shawn out with it."

Both of them got an evil grin on their faces, Artemis using his vampire smile. They rushed out of the kitchen to plan and prepare.

* * *

A puppet peeked over the edge of Shawn's bed with its inky eyes. Then it slowly rose until the wearer's skin was just about to go over the edge of the sheets.

"Shawn," it whispered without moving its lips. "Sha-a-a-wn."

Shawn slept.

The dino leaned over the sleeping boy a little. "Sha-a-a-a-a-wn."

Nothing.

The dino puppet whapped Shawn in the face. "SHAWN!"

Shawn yelped and sat up rigid, rubbing his nose. "What!"

"Hello," the puppet said.

Shawn rubbed his eyes. "Is that you, Stephanie?"

"Um, no."

"Oh, okay," Shawn said. Artemis snickered from under the bed and Stephanie had to elbow him.

"I am Bruno, the all-knowing sock dino," said Bruno, the all-knowing sock dino. "I can tell you anything and maybe even grant you a wish, if I feel like it. Which I don't."

"Cool!"

"Yep, it sure is. So ask me anything."

"Do you know the meaning of life?"

"Err, no."

"How about how the universe was made?"

"Nope, sorry." Bruno shook his head.

"Well, do you know if Stephanie would ever like me?"

"Yes."

"You mean she would?" Shawn got excited.

"I mean I can answer that question and the answer is-"

Artemis interrupted Stephanie really quietly. "Say you would."

Stephanie gave him a look. "Why?"

"If you say yes, he'll act like he's the smoothest little boy that walks the face of the Earth around you. You can then act like he's nothing special and we can then tell him that Bruno's a fake," Artemis explained quickly.

"Ahhh, I see."

Bruno spoke again. "Yes. Yes she would. I think she likes you right now, even."

Shawn gasped. "Really!"

"Yeah!" Bruno wildly nodded.

Shawn turned his back and started to babble to himself about something. Bruno quickly ducked under the bed.

When the boy turned back around, the dino wasn't there. "Hello?

"Where'd he go?"

* * *

Stephanie was walking down the hall when Shawn found her and started to be a big flirt.

"Hey there," he said in a "cool" tone. He was wearing a flannel shirt unbuttoned over a messy undershirt. Sunglasses were over his eyes and his hair was styled with so much gel it wasn't even funny. His pants were undesirably baggy.

Stephanie looked down at his and raised an eyebrow. "Yes? What do you want?"

"I only want to talk to you," Shawn replied in the same tone. He tried to lean against the wall, but nearly fell in the attempt. Stephanie desperately wanted to laugh her head off.

"Really, who put you up to this, Shawn? Was it Juliet?" Stephanie's eyes searched the halls for giggling onlookers.

"Nope, it's just me myself and I." Shawn gave her a smile that ruined the whole "cool" look.

Stephanie chuckled. "Nice try," she commented. Then she restarted her travels down the hall once more.

Shawn looked at her back, rather astonished. He whispered to himself, "Why, Bruno? Why must you lie to me?"

* * *

"Ah ha, Bruno," Stephanie muttered to the sock puppet on her hand. "I bet you can somehow control the minds of the dim witted. Not just small children with no common sense, either."

Artemis came into the room, which was Stephanie's (A/N: I never seem to want to mention where they are.) "Are you still talking to that puppet? It's getting quite annoying."

"Says you." She took the puppet off of her hand.

"Yes, and what I say goes," Artemis said, sitting beside the puppet-obsessed girl. "Now put that thing away."

"You seem to have a problem with it," Stephanie said, stuffing the dino puppet in her pocket. "Do you?"

Artemis looked at her, trying to feign surprise. "Why, of course not! What would give you that impression?"

'Well," she started, "it seems like whenever I have the puppet out, you ask where I got it, or try to avoid it all together. Your behavior is strange to me."

"Maybe it's because that thing is so hideous," Artemis commented quickly, trying to evade the subject, just as Stephanie said he tried to do.

Stephanie psh-ed. "No it isn't. There you go again, struggling to switch the subject. Something's up, what is it?"

Sighing, Artemis mumbled extremely quietly, "I'm afraid of it."

"What?"

"I am afraid of it." Artemis was only slightly louder this time.

"Sorry, I couldn't catch-"

"I'm afraid of the stupid puppet!" Artemis screamed.

Stephanie blinked, a bit frazzled by Artemis' outburst. "Okay. We're getting somewhere." But before Stephanie could ask why-

"Oh, how that idiotic child's toy taunted me as a small boy." Artemis clenched his fists. "It's ridiculous, felt, toothy smile, and its eyes, look at them. They're too far apart from each other for comfort."

"…Artemis?"

"Yes?"

"You're a freak and I can't help you. So I'll put the puppet away, but only because it's you."

Artemis flung his arms around his friend. "_Thank you!_**" **

Just then Shawn walked past the open doorway, saw Artemis embracing Stephanie, and, in an eerie silence, left. Three seconds later they could hear:

"_**Bruno DID lie!"**_

* * *

_Stephanie was dreaming again. She sat in a field of tall grass in every direction, the wind blowing it sideways. This caused it to look like waves of green would come at her, but always somehow miss. _

"You'll remember me, as the west wind moves upon the fields of barley…"

_Stephanie could hear this from far off and wondered why she wasn't in barley instead. It would've made sense but it didn't. She resolved to just roll with it._

_She was looking down at the grass in front of her, fiddling with it, when she saw two pairs of bare feet. When she looked up she saw Artemis. Not the fake one we call Ben, for he had no blonde streaking his bangs. His gaze was soft, content. _

"_I love you, you know I do. Don't you know?" he said softly. _

"_I know," Stephanie whispered back. Artemis held out a hand to help her up, and she tried to take it, but Stephanie ended up on her hands and knees grabbing nothing in one hand. Artemis had disappeared into a wisp of smoke somehow. _

"_You must know now how it feels to love something you obviously can't have," a voice said from behind her. It was Ben's._

_Stephanie stood up and turned around. "Actually, no, I don't."_

"_Oh? Why would that be?"_

"_Because of the fact that people can't dissolve into smoke after a mere touch of other skin, I'm guessing this is a dream." Stephanie loved using logic like that, it was so much fun. "So, this being a dream, I know that Artemis is not gone from me, but back in reality doing whatever he pleases to do."_

_Ben shook his head and smiled. "You're such a smart girl. I'm afraid, however (Well not really, but I must say it for your sake), that this must become a reality. It's fate, and fate is one of the strongest forces out there."_

_Stephanie smirked. "No, this is just what you want it to be. If all goes right, for me of course, then fate will rear its ugly head in your direction, your plan will fail and I will get my way. Like you said, fate is one of the strongest forces out there."_

_Ben clicked his tongue in an annoyed fashion. "Must you ruin my fun?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Very well, then."_

_Ben snapped his fingers, and somewhere in the real world a girl woke up, having no memory of the dream._

* * *

Stephanie caught Artemis typing something on his computer the next morning. "Artemis?"

"Yes?" He did not take his eyes off of the screen.

"Do you ever forget what you dream, right after you dream it?"

"Never, why do you ask?"

"I forgot the dream I had last night. I know I had a dream, and I think it was real important, but I just can't remember. When I get close to recalling it my leads disappear right out of my head." Stephanie's mind gave a wave of remembrance at the word "disappear".

"It mustn't have been that important if you have forgotten it," Artemis resolved, still typing.

Stephanie sighed. "Alright, then." She left, more and more questions popping up in her head that weren't to be asked.

* * *

**I only have one thing to say:**

**I LIKE "LORD OF THE FLIES". DDDD:**

**Regards, Noodle**

**Firstly, I would like to say that I, as well, hate "Lord of the Flies". Second, I only edited this chapter, Noodle wrote all of it. Yes. I know that I have been a bad author, and I haven't written as much as Noodle. But I will!**

**In the next chapter.**

**-Frogerita**


	12. Of Breakfast and Surprise

"_I'm sorry, Artemis, but I just can't go out with you," Stephanie said, as she jumped into the arms of her obese boyfriend. Then she was swept away , never to see the boy prodigy again._

Stephanie woke up screaming a high-pitched, umm, scream. Once she realized that it was only a dream, and that it was morning so she could get up and do whatever, she got out of bed and looked around the manor. It seemed that no one was there that morning. This was proven truthful, as a note was left on the fridge door saying where everyone went.

Artemis' mother and father, to an island of some sort. The Butler siblings, shopping for provisions. The servants got the day off and were probably sleeping in.

"Oh, well that's a bummer," Stephanie said to herself. "Butler isn't around to bug. Ah well. I guess I'll make breakfast."

Well, she would attempt to, at least.

* * *

Artemis awoke that morning to burning…something. He sniffed the air and nearly gagged.

"Augh, what _is_ that atrocious scent?" he snarled. Throwing his sheets of his person, he quickly walked downstairs to see what was causing the disturbing smell.

Artemis found Stephanie in the dining room with something charred and smoking on a plate lying on the table in front of her. She looked proud of her work.

"Err, Stephanie, what is that exactly…?" Artemis asked, pointing to the stinking object.

"They're waffles, I made 'em myself. Why do you ask?"

"Just out of curiosity, do you know how to cook at ALL?"

Stephanie shook her head. "No. This is why I'm forcing you to eat it."

Somehow, without anyone touching it, Artemis' hair suddenly looked messier and distressed.

He kept blinking. "Uhh, err, w-what?"

"I'm making you eat it."

"You aren't forcing me to eat that," Artemis said in a rather stressed tone. "I _refuse _to eat it."

Stephanie said nothing, but reached into her pocket. She looked dead serious while she did it. To make the anxiety worse, Stephanie drew out whatever was in her pocket really slowly. Finally, a sock puppet was held in her clenched hand

Bruno.

Artemis gasped. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would."

"But-but we're friends! How could you do this?"

"Do you really want to know how?"

"…Forget I said that, just don't do it."

Stephanie smirked. "I won't if you eat breakfast."

This was a difficult decision for Artemis-_really _difficult. Should he face food poisoning, or the terrors of that childhood plaything he dreaded oh so much? Be bedridden for weeks, or be scarred for life?

Artemis sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll eat it. If I die you _can't _have my belongings."

Artemis fearfully picked up a fork and looked at the deadly, yet "edible" substance in front of him. He started to sweat. This was all so traumatizing. To stall the whole thing, Artemis poked at his food to see if it would move or growl. Surprisingly, it did neither.

"Oh, just eat it already!" Stephanie yelled impatiently.

"Alright, alright, alright!"

Artemis licked his dry lips. He picked a piece of "waffle" off and raised it to his mouth. He was just about to eat it-

Stephanie broke out in laughter. "_Don't eat it!_" She knocked the fork out of his hand and kept giggling.

Artemis looked at her as if she were crazy. (maybe she is, we don't know). "Are you high on something!"

Stephanie calmed down a bit. "No, no, I'm not. I didn't think you would eat it, I really didn't, but, but, oh my god!" She was in hysterics.

"I'm just happy I don't have to eat…this," Artemis said, holding it up. "Being sick for weeks isn't my cup of tea."

"I don't imagine that it would be."

Artemis, now relieved that he didn't have to eat it, said calmly, "I'm guessing no one is home, seeing as you attempted to cook."

"Attempted? Nah, not really. I did that on purpose. You're right, though, no one is home except you, me and the brat."

"Not even Juliet?"

"No."

"Oh dear... Tell me, is today Friday?"

"Yes. Why?"

Artemis sighed. "Butler makes Juliet clean most of the manor on Fridays before she can go do anything else. Since she isn't here to do it…"

"We have to?" Stephanie guessed.

"Exactly."

There was a silence. Stephanie was thinking and Artemis didn't have anything to say. Hey, would you have anything to say? I didn't think so. Stop ranting and keep on reading.

Finally, Stephanie asked, "How about we find something to eat, and eat it as slowly as possible? We won't have to start as soon."

"Fantastic idea!" Artemis exclaimed, walking into the kitchen. "Come Stephanie, let the stalling begin."

* * *

Artemis and Stephanie had finished breakfast fifteen minutes ago, and they were working on the first bathroom. Everything in there had been cleaned except for the toilet, which was being worked on.

"Okay," Stephanie said. "I'll spray it with this cleaner crap and you wipe it down."

"Alright," Artemis agreed, rolling his sleeves up.

Stephanie sprayed the entire toilet down and, of course, Artemis wiped it down thoroughly. Stephanie suddenly shot an area with the cleaner.

"You missed a spot," she said. Artemis gave her a funny look and wiped the cleaner off.

Stephanie sprayed another area. "You missed a spot." Artemis growled, and wiped it off again.

Once again, Stephanie sprayed. "You missed a-"

She never got to finish, for Artemis pounced on her, pinned her to the ground and started tickling her sides.

"You missed a spot, you missed a spot, you missed a spot!" he exclaimed in a mocking tone.

Stephanie started giggling. "Augh, you're so m-e-e-e-an! Ah ha ha ha!"

"That's what you get, isn't it?" Artemis smirked.

It took them both about ten minutes to get out of the bathroom and finish the rest of the manor. Without Shawn there it would've taken about two hours. Since he was there to pester them, however, it was five. The last room they had to work on was Juliet's.

There were clothes all over. I mean, ALL OVER. You couldn't see the floor, or her bed, or her dresser, or anything else in her room. Just the clothes were in sight.

"Is her room always like this?" Stephanie asked Artemis.

"You ask as if I would know," he answered. "Should we clean Juliet's room? It's _her _room."

"I guess so." Stephanie shrugged. "We might even get something out of it."

"Like what?"

"Exercise? I don't know. Let's just get it done."

"Very well," Artemis said. He grabbed an armful of clothes and stuffed it in Stephanie's arms. He kept on doing so, without a sign of stopping.

Stephanie, struggling to hold on to the clothes, asked, "What on Earth are you doing?"

"I'm getting it done, that's what I'm doing," Artemis replied. He grabbed another bundle and added it to Stephanie's load.

"But-"

"But nothing, Stephanie," Artemis interrupted.

"I'm going to fall over!"

"You have stamina, keep going!"

"Why are you such a-"

At that moment, the bundle of clothes teetered in Artemis' direction and fell on top of him. Both of them were lost in the mountain of cotton, flannel and denim. The pressure of all of the clothing, however, was not noticed. It seems that they were rather distracted by something that had happened.

_What the-_ Artemis thought. _What's against my lips? Wait…OH MY._

Artemis came up from the pile of clothes with nothing on his face. Stephanie soon came up with her hands over her mouth. She was a deep scarlet.

Artemis could hardly finish his sentences out of surprise. "Did your lips-"

Stephanie nodded violently.

"Mine…?"

Stephanie nodded again.

Artemis could feel himself starting to blush. This was all very strange and awkward, as you can imagine. He said nothing, but, with no difficulty, thought, _Holy crap._

After a moment, Artemis finally broke the silence. "This, will _never _be mentioned around others, do you understand?"

"…Yeah…" Stephanie said, sounding a bit frazzled.

"Very well." Artemis stood up. "I imagine that we should just carry the laundry one armful at a time, this attempt."

"Okay…" Stephanie still sounded dazed.

They did so, making sure that their load wasn't too big whenever they went for a new one. Neither Artemis nor Stephanie spoke to each other, for shock of the moment had affected them both. If you have ever been surprised like that, you would know how that feels. All of this took more that half an hour (Juliet had a lot of clothes, what do you expect from her?), and by the time they were done little energy remained.

Instead of taking naps, Artemis and Stephanie sat in the laundry room and had a small chat. Stephanie felt that talking about the matter would release the tension, if any was left.

"So," she said, sitting on the washing machine, "how did it feel to you?"

Artemis sat on the dryer next to her. "I can't really describe it," he told Stephanie. "It was rather quick. What about you?"

"It was nice, I guess…" she said, blushing.

"You guess?" Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"Like you said, it was quick. Plus, it didn't mean anything because it was an accident."

"Well," Artemis said slowly, "do you want it to mean something?"

Stephanie didn't say anything, but she just looked at him. He gazed back, his dark eyes glistening.

Both assumed that it was safe, for Shawn didn't know where the laundry room was and nobody else was home. With beating hearts, they leaned in and, after so many days of waiting and hoping, softly kissed. This time it meant everything to Stephanie.

And Artemis as well.

* * *

**Dear readers,**

**LOLNOODLE**

**Regards, Noodle**


	13. Of Cellphones and Closets

**AH HA HA. I love the last chapter. It's my excuse to get all mushy inside.**

**Regards, Noodle**

OOoOoOo

This part of that moment sucked for Artemis and Stephanie. After they broke apart, they suddenly realized that Shawn had found the laundry and was standing in the doorway, doing what? Watching the entire event, and he was going to create the finale.

"I'm calling your parents and TELLING, Artemis!" Shawn exclaimed, pointing at him.

"Oh, and how is that?" Artemis asked, cool as a cucumber. "You don't know their cell numbers."

Shawn didn't say anything. Instead he pulled out a flip phone. On the screen were three phone numbers: Butler's and-you can guess the other ones.

"How did you get my cell phone, you little brat!" Artemis looked angry. _Angry. **Angry.**_

"You left it on the bathroom counter when you were cleaning." Shawn told him, a smarmy look on his young face.

Artemis jumped off of the dryer and ran in Shawn's direction. Shawn bolted, and the chase was on. Stephanie decided not to do anything, for she was happy in her own little world at that moment in time.

Artemis chased Shawn practically ALL over the manor. Once or twice he almost caught his cousin, but ended up tripping and getting back up.

Lucky for Artemis, Shawn suddenly tripped when he was just about to shut himself up in his room. Artemis grabbed him, got the cell phone and said in a harsh tone, "If you ever, EVER tell anyone about what you saw today, I will punish you so cruelly, imagining it would make you go insane."

"Will you give me a cookie?" Shawn asked.

Artemis sighed. "Yes, I will give you a cookie. Just _don't _tell anyone."

"Wee!" Shawn ran to the kitchen so he could get his reward for shutting up.

OOoOoOo

Stephanie sat on the washing machine, staring at the ceiling and thinking. The past few minutes were probably the happiest she'd been through (Although that's not saying much). Maybe now Ben would give up and leave her alone.

Ah ha, yeah right.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she yelped. It was, of course, Ben.

"Why are you here?" She asked. That was one of those moments she _really _didn't want him there.

"I know what happened, and it won't work." He kept a straight face.

"Work how?"

"You will not keep me from letting this happen, believe you me," Ben said, starting to raise his voice. "Even if it takes me every fiber in my being, I will-"

"Take me as your bride, make me love you? After what you've done? Forget it. You don't even know me personally. How do you expect something to happen between us?" Stephanie gave a harsh "ha".

Before Ben could respond to that, they both heard footsteps approaching. Ben gave a scowl and mouthed, "Next time," to Stephanie. She just rolled her eyes, and before you could blink he disappeared.

Artemis appeared in the doorway, putting his cell phone in his pocket. "I thought I heard you talking to someone."

"Nope, it's just me. I was thinking aloud, that's all," Stephanie lied. She didn't want to lie, but she had no choice.

Artemis raised an eyebrow, as if he knew she was fibbing, but then shrugged. "Alright." He helped Stephanie of the washing machine. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you what time it was."

"What time is it?"

"Eleven at night."

"What!" Stephanie cried. "We've been cleaning for _that _long?" Artemis nodded. "Why aren't we tired? And why is the brat still awake?"

"I'm guessing we aren't tired because of the recent…events…." Artemis blushed, and then kept going. "As for Shawn, well, he's Shawn. Think about it."

"Should we go to bed?"

"It would be best."

Instead of rounding Shawn up and stuffing him in his room, they just went to their own rooms to retire. They didn't say anything about the last hour, or any other subject, for that matter. All they did was walk. Really, really close to each other (lawlz).

The reason they didn't say anything is because they were to busy thinking. Thinking about what would happen tomorrow, if things would be awkward between them, if they'd even admit how the feel…

Eventually the two got to the first destination, Artemis' room. The only reason it was first is because it was nearer. Both teens stopped.

"Well, err, g'night," Stephanie said rather feebly.

"I'll see you in the morning," Artemis replied. He said it as if nothing was about to happen.

As Stephanie turned around to walk to her room, Artemis spun her back his way and hugged her. No, not just friendly-like. As he did so, he softly whispered in her ear;

"I love you."

As soon as he said that, Artemis let go, blushed a deep red, and hurried into his room. He did this too quickly to hear Stephanie respond.

Stephanie stood there, stunned. Into thin air, she said quietly, "I love you, too…"

OoOoOoO

Artemis had his window open for fresh air, and he leaned against the wall, beside it. He could not sleep due to what he had just done. The boy didn't even _mean _to do it. Not then, not that way. Artemis had planned to tell Stephanie when the time was most right, and that definitely wasn't the right time.

_I probably scared the poor girl when I did that, _Artemis thought. _Then again, I scare most everybody. I still feel bad about it…_

Artemis gave a silent sigh and looked out the window. The stars were especially bright that night. The breeze blew his raven hair (Noodle: In a very sexay way. ;D) into his eyes. All of this, for some reason, brought slight relief from the moments before.

At that same moment a small piece of crumpled paper drifted across the window, just barely in Artemis' reach. Wondering what it could be or what it might say, he leaned out the window and quickly snatched it.

The paper felt used, like it had been stuffed into someone's pocket for too long. It had random tears in it and seemed to be ripped unceremoniously from a bigger piece of paper. Writing was on it. The handwriting looked like perfect computer type; it could've possibly been.

What was written on it made almost no sense to Artemis, although it would've meant a lot to Stephanie, of course.

No matter what you do or say, you will not win… 

Instead of pondering on what this might mean, and adding on to things that will keep him awake, Artemis stuffed the paper in his pocket and went to bed in his day clothes.

OoOoOoOOo

Stephanie walked into her room. _Her _room. But not for long. Artemis confessed his feelings to Stephanie, and she had said them back, somewhat. And her month stay was coming to an end. She had but one week to go through with her feelings for Artemis.

She relaxed herself, changed into her pajamas, and went to bed. To sleep.

OoOoOoO

Artemis, later then next day, came barging into Stephanie's room while she was feeding Nathaniel (we kind of forgot about him, didn't we?). She and the cat stared at the panting boy until he finally spoke.

"You…need…to…hide somewhere…!" Artemis gasped.

"Why?" Stephanie looked at him anxiously.

"Shawn is going home earlier than I expected." He finally caught his breath. "As in today. He has already stayed most of the month. My parents will suspect something about you, usually guest that I have over never stay this long."

"And…?"

"They're going to send you home as well!"

"What? Why!" Stephanie stood up.

"They're just like that, okay?" Artemis took Stephanie by the wrist and dragged her down the hall (not literally, mind you). "Just follow me!"

_As if I have a choice at the moment… _Stephanie thought as she tried to keep the pace.

They both ran until they got to a small broom closet. It had never been used and so cobwebs hung here and there. Neither of them bothered to sweep the spiders' doings away. Artemis just stuffed her in, shut the door and told her to stay in there and don't make a sound.

At the moment Artemis ran back to Stephanie's room and closed the door, his mother came from behind him. "Arty, have you seen your friend? The cab has arrived for her. I'd have Juliet take her home but she's out and about."

"Stephanie? I haven't seen her. At all. She could be anywhere. In the kitchen, the bathroom, a large vase, anywhere!" Artemis sounded a tad nervous.

"Oh. Well, if you find her, let me know." And that was the end of that.

After his mother left, Artemis hurried back to the closet to tell Stephanie that she'd have to hide there for a few more, hours, maybe? When he got there, however, she was gone.

Not a sign of her ever being there. Artemis leaned into the closet and looked around, despite the fact that he wouldn't find her in there anyway.

Surely Stephanie wouldn't have left? She knew what could happen if she did.

Suddenly something from behind pushed Artemis into the closet and closed the door. Instead of landing on the closet floor, he was tossed into what seemed like nothing. The impact of the change of environment knocked the boy out, and he knew no more.

**Holy crap. That chapter SUCKED. I'm sorry you guys, I really am. This is definitely not my best. Imagination seems to fail me suddenly and I never know what to say anymore. Hopefully that will change.**

**Regards, Noodle**


	14. You Can't Beat Love

**This is one of the only chapters Frogerita has done by herself, so enjoy. Updated on (March 17, 2007)**

* * *

Stephanie had been asleep, or rather, knocked out, for the past few minutes. She slowly stirred, and looked around, observing her surroundings. She was laying on nothing. This scared her quite a bit. She seemed to be in a multicolored ball, that swirled, but the tones were muted, so she could see a hovering SOMETHING. A huge oak door at least 17 feet was next to her, and two boys fell out of it. The door disappeared. The two boys were opposites, one blonde and the other dark haired (Three guesses who the blonde is).

_Ben? Why is he here?_ Thought Stephanie. _Wait, Artemis is here, so, umm…_ Stephanie couldn't think straight at the moment, as she was in a multicolored ball, similar to Artemis and Bens, and they were inside a swirling vortex of doom. She had enough on her mind.

"Hello Stephanie, love."

"Artemis?" Stephanie said turning to face the orbs holding Artemis and Ben.

Ben scowled. "As if. Why would he say such kind words to you? He is a foul, cold-hearted child. Love, leave that to men, such as myself." He said as if he was an impressive business man.

"He's more a man than you," Stephanie snorted.

"Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. Are you saying you love such a foul thing?" A small smirk played on his lips.

Stephanie blushed. She wasn't sure he could see though because of the endless vortex and the colorful orbs they were placed in.

"Stephanie, I love you, more than that child ever could. I'd like to live my life with you." He sounded sincere, and Stephanie wondered how a cruel human could act so loving and kind?

She had gotten over her initial shock. "I- I do not love you Ben, I don't know why or how you can love me. I'm an ugly lump of nothing, and you know, I have horrible hair, and lifeless eyes, and a crooked nose..."

"You are perfect to me," came a quiet voice.

Stephanie turned. "Artemis, is that you?"

"Yes," he said in the same weak voice.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" Of course she was flattered that he thought she was perfect, but there seemed to be something wrong with his breathing.

"Ben, What have you done to Artemis!?" She said attempting to hold back tears.

"Oh perfect! The wimp has woken. Well dear Stephanie, if you do not choose me tonight, your "love" will die." He said sneeringly.

"Wha- what? He'll _die?_ No, no, no! I can't! I won't."

"You can and you will. Allow me to clarify what will happen if you don't. It's Ben, the better man, or Artemis, this petty child. He'll DIE if you don't choose me. So go on, hurry up." He smirked.

Stephanie let sorrow fill her. Ben KNEW she couldn't bear to let him Artemis die. Her heart said Artemis, her mind said Ben. How could he split her like this, if he loved her?

"Stephanie, you are almost out of time. What is your answer? How do you _feel_?" He gave a cruel smile while Artemis in his orb was slowly regaining his breath.

"I feel… Angry, hurt, pissed, like half of my soul is gone. WHY SHOULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE? Are you my father? No. That's who you remind me of, though. And I choose Artemis. It's called love, what I feel for Artemis. I feel hatred for you. If you kill him, I kill myself."

"Luckily, Stephanie I have a backup plan." Artemis' orb sped toward Ben's and they combined. Their orb turned black and swirled.

Stephanie wondered when life had gotten so messed up for her. She finds the perfect guy, and is forced to choose if he should doe, or if she shall part from him. The giant orb stopped spinning. She could only see, wait, two Artemis'. Wait, no, Ben. _He is so determined he made himself look like Artemis. That ho._

"Alright Stephanie choose. GO ON, NOW!" a voice called. Which Artemis said it was beyond her.

_No, what if I choose Ben? I need Artemis, please God; help me to get through this. Show me the right Artemis._ Stephanie prayed. _Point me to him_. She didn't sound gushy, or mushy, but sounded determined. She had shed too many tears. She seemed emotionless as she looked at the two, but she was so full of love, it hurt her. She was desperate. She needed a miracle.

She stared at both carefully. Then she noticed something. Her miracle had come. One Artemis' hair was completely black, and one had specks of blonde. Blonde was Ben's hair color. It could be a trap, but she felt sure there was something Ben had skipped in his plan.

She walked up to the possible Ben.

"I choose… you," she said pointing to the pitch-black haired boy. Artemis Fowl, the second.

"NO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE ME!"

Stephanie said a line she had read in Artemis' mother's romance novel.

"You can't beat love." (CLICHÉ!)

And the vortex disappeared. The whole area went white, and then they were both in a broom closet. The one Stephanie had hidden in so she could stay.

Things were a bit awkward.

"I, ah…" Stephanie stuttered.

Artemis looked at her, and smiled tentatively. He leaned in, and she did too. Their eyes closed, and their lips met. It was sweet and innocent, but extremely heartfelt. Slowly, things heated up, and it turned to an uninterrupted by Shawn Snog session.

Several moments later, or hours or even days, Artemis and Stephanie emerged from the closet, hand in hand. They went in search for Artemis' mother, to tell her that she had to stay. Stephanie recited the following, "Mrs. Fowl? Hi, I wanted to talk to you. I have no place to stay. I'm, alone, without a home. I need a home, a place to stay. Artemis volunteered here and I thought…"

This story would be perfect if Angeline had said yes.

"I don't think you should. I don't even know your family… But, I think I shall stick with this answer…

…

…

…

Yes."

I guess this is a perfect story after all.

**

* * *

**

BE AMAZED. I WROTE THIS CHAPTER.

**Yes. Frogerita. Normally N00dle writes the chapters, but I wrote this on, all by myself. I feel somewhat proud.**

**Anyways, thanks for all the reviews! This is the last chapter planned. We may add a prologue and "A What Happened To…" SO could find out what happened to all the extra characters. THANKS FOR READING!**

**Dear loyal readers,**

**AUGH. Frogerita SERIOUSLY needs to edit these things. I don't want to name all of the mistakes I had to fix. It was not a happy time, believe you me.**

**Regards, Noodle**


	15. SEQUEL NOTE

AND NOW! Though I love you all, this story is officially over. But do not fear, for Noodle and I, Frogerita have created a sequel. Don't Let Go! So go read it hos!


End file.
